Adoptive Parents Missing the Obivous

I copied many of the replies from this post on the FB Adoptive Families Page a couple hours after it had linked to this post: “AFTER DECADES OF PAIN, MOTHER REUNITES WITH SON GIVEN UP FOR ADOPTION IN WYOMING 51-YEARS AGO”

 

#WhyILoveAdoptionChallenge

Probably a sweet idea created with the best of intentions by an agency. Probably something those who are adoptive parents would want to do, it might even lift spirits in this hard time we are all struggling through. So, I get it, I truly do, I hope it helps those who need a lift up. It’s also incredibly simplistic and unrealistic, not to mention disenfranchising to many in adoption.

 

Dear Adoptive Parents – Word of Advice

Pretty sure I’ve vented about this before. The child you adopted is not your adoptee. Don’t refer to them as your adoptee when you write about them.

“Don’t be afraid when your adoptee is disappointed with their first family.” 

 

Random thoughts on ‘you did the right thing’…

Why do adoptees often say to their first parent (or parents) some version of: you did the right thing?

How do they know this?

How can anyone know this?

 

The language used in adoption.

They say language is important in adoption, it is, but maybe it’s not the words you think are important, that actually matter most of all.

 

When the now outsider is the family historian…

The other day I received a message asking me to help them fill in the blanks in their family tree. They were wanting me to tell them who their ancestors were, provide any pictures I had, fill in the blanks in the family story.

 

Valentine’s Day

Confession to make that most have probably figured out already.

I’m not the mushy type.

I’m not one to go gaga over a day on the calendar that says it’s Valentines Day, go get your loved one something expensive, as gaudy as possible and do include a mushy message.

 

Yes, My Folks told us we were Adopted and talked about it freely.

The article posted below by an adoption agency is inaccurate, read further to understand why it’s inaccurate.

 

Dear Adoptive Parents and Adoption Agencies

Upfront, I’m leaping to the conclusion that one of yours (APs) felt the need to complain to twitter about an adoption meme. A meme that was pretty tame if I do say so myself.

A meme that had to have been created by adoptee.

 

Birthdays & Names

If you are adopted…

And adopted shortly after birth…