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Monthly Archives: June 2020

At the end of the day, it is what it is.

Longtime readers know I think the world of my folks. You also know I’ve alluded to challenges of an older sibling in different posts. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on June 30, 2020 in Adoption, Uncategorized

 

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Bitter? You called adoptee’s bitter?

This thread on FB is well worth your time: Yes I’m Adopted. Don’t Make It Weird.

If you don’t know who they are, they are two adoptees who cater their message to adoptive parents. I’ve only watched a couple of their video’s and they just aren’t my cup of tea, I find them flippant, dismissive, surface level and skirt any deeper feelings, and that doesn’t go well with me, it may be your cup of tea. Whatever. The above thread linked is because they used the old trope adoptive parents use when they don’t like what an adoptee says by calling the adoptee bitter:

As an adoptee you can choose to be bitter or better. Both are justified, one is just better for you.

Nope, you don’t get to call adoptees bitter, you just don’t.

Grab a coffee and dive into a really good pushback and to their credit, they took it. The pushback is not only because they called adoptees bitter, but because they lumped every adoptee into an either/or narrative that remains static. The message also assumes any adoption related feelings are once and done, instead of the reality that adoptees will process being adopted throughout their lives when their lived experiences trigger them.

We aren’t puppets, we are human.

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Changing how we view adoption

I’ve been pondering on adoption today and how it has become something I don’t recognise anymore. Adoptions from my era (BSE) had a host of problems, but how they’ve fixed them, largely, only seem to benefit the other players in adoption, not the child. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on June 27, 2020 in Adoption

 

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It’s the little things that create connections

Not long ago I was told that a flower I grew and loved, was also a flower grown and loved by my grandmother.

A grandmother I never met. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on June 24, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Reflections and more

The last few months have offered me endless amounts of time for reflection and for honestly assessing the life I’ve lived. I’ve looked at the challenges I met head on simply because there wasn’t any other choice. As of now, I’m embarrassed about some choices I’ve made on this journey and thankful for others; the experiences I’ve had and came out stronger for. I still have experiences that haunt me; ones I’ve never voiced, that just sit there just under the surface waiting to reappear every time I’m feeling vulnerable, those are the ones I haven’t found a way to make peace with and doubt I ever will.

Read the rest of this entry »
 
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Posted by on June 11, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Listen

I’ve been struggling with everything that has been happening lately; so many emotions are coursing through me hearing so much palpable pain and anguish in each personal story being told.

This time is a long overdo moment in our collective history, and I hope the marches, the conversations happening right now bear everlasting fruit and lasting change. It has to.

My role is to listen. To listen to the stories being told right now, to believe them, that is what is important to me right now.

Do better, be better, it’s long past time for change.

 
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Posted by on June 7, 2020 in Adoption, Uncategorized

 

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