I’ve been reflecting on how easily I adapt to whatever is thrown in front of me. At the same time, I also feel bad that I simply adjust the wind in my sails and continue on while other’s around me struggle so much. I’m not saying I haven’t have moments of panic or bouts of fear about getting sick, because I did, still do at times, especially when the other half had to do the self-isolation stint.
But I’m okay, mostly, I think.
I’m used to getting bad news about my health. I’m used to overwhelming rushes of hormones coursing through my body. It’s expected, it’s my normal, I allow the news to process through however that looks in the moment and then I research, plan, I do what I can to be prepared.
Maybe I’m not okay, just numb. Looking back, maybe I’ve been numb longer than I can remember; interspersed with times of great joy for sure, but still, always waiting for the next shoe to drop as far back as I can remember.
Life, embrace it when you can, hold onto the joy, absorb it, feel it, really hold onto it. Do what makes you happy in this moment, also be kind to yourself, to others too, but only what you can spare without your foundation starting to crumble around you.