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Influx

03 Apr

Talk is going round the online adoption world about an expected influx of expectant mothers to adoption. I’m not in the know so I can’t say if that is correct, yet it wouldn’t be surprising if it was true, with all the lost jobs, the panic over not being able to pay your rent or groceries for starters, let alone no idea how long this will last, how long before normal returns.

And if it is true and adoption professionals or people wanting to adopt and match online with an expectant mother see it as a bonus or good that more expectant mothers during these troubled times turn to adoption – shame on them. It’s a tragedy if mothers give up their babies because a pandemic left them with no other choice.

I know that was harsh, but really take the time to delve into what it means when there is an influx of expectant mothers to agencies when there’s a pandemic. What it doesn’t mean is that a bunch of expectant mothers out of the blue all suddenly jumped on the I-want-to-become-a-birthmother train.

And if you do adopt one of the babies from the influx, just how are you going to explain it to them? This will be far harder to explain, and likely, far harder to accept, that it really was a choice their birthmother voluntarily made.

And it certainly won’t be something to celebrate.

Adding Robyn’s response to this post. Ethics? We Don’t Need No Stinking Ethics

 

 
13 Comments

Posted by on April 3, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , ,

13 responses to “Influx

  1. legitimatebastard

    April 3, 2020 at 7:24 pm

    I’ve been in the process for the past three days of writing an article for our local newspaper about this very thing. No, I haven’t been online lately to know for sure, but I’m writing from a completely different point of view: orphans. As you might know, I’m a half orphan. Born of a dying mother. Gone to adoption four months after birth. … I was just getting around to writing about expectant mothers. Wow. Just wow.

    Liked by 4 people

     
    • legitimatebastard

      April 8, 2020 at 1:12 am

      Finished my article. Sent it in to my local newspaper. Editor wrote back saying that they’ve been swamped with over 100 articles on Covid-19, so we are all in competition with each other, now more than the average submissions. I do think, though, that my focus on the need for family preservation, guardianship, and not adoption for orphans who might be created from Covid-19 is a rare point of view. Also, because of this blog post, I wrote a little on pressuring expectant mothers, too. I will keep you all posted!

      Liked by 2 people

       
      • TAO

        April 8, 2020 at 3:31 am

        Fingers crossed

        Like

         
  2. Dannie

    April 3, 2020 at 7:31 pm

    oh God I hope not.

    Liked by 4 people

     
  3. BOOKS: Sexual Assault, Loss

    April 3, 2020 at 8:45 pm

    Adoption agencies were telling potential adopters to go to states where abortion clinics have been shut down. Now these agencies can again profit from the tragedy of poverty and panic.

    Demand for newborns has always exceeded supply, but currently there has been a meteoric rise of infertility. The ratio of potential adopters to newborn babies is 40:1. What that means is this: A desperate woman goes to a prolife site because she assumes the pro-lifers will advocate for support so she can keep her baby. She does not realize the prolife people are eager to link her to an adoption agency.

    These people may congratulate themselves for their “savior” role. They have saved a baby, they think. They might also convince themselves they have saved an expectant mother. They can assure themselves they supplied an appreciative, infertile couple with a baby who will always be grateful for being saved.

    Forty couples will have competed for this one baby but only one gets the prize. The rest will be disappointed — 39 of them — who must wait for the next desperate expectant mother, often a woman with no family support.

    Liked by 4 people

     
    • KPMominTexas

      April 4, 2020 at 7:41 pm

      As a prolife believer and a Birthmom, I find this truth ignored. I was asked to “share” with our students, during Sanctity for Life Sunday. But maybe I didn’t share what was expected. I shared that all lives matter-including the birth mother. Including the mother who decided on abortion-as tragic as I believe that is. If we only support women so a couple can have their dream come true-then shame on us. We need to give mommas a real choice and help to do what SHE thinks is best for her child: to parent or not to parent, not what everyone else hopes she will decide.

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • TAO

        April 4, 2020 at 9:32 pm

        Exactly. Good for you.

        Like

         
  4. beth62

    April 4, 2020 at 1:36 pm

    I guess it’s not unreasonable to expect a flood of babies to be made during the quarantine. Like over a cold winter. Comfort during the war. Coming together and reuniting after. Those things tend to make babies.
    And if those numbers are up, I’d guess the number available for adoption goes up too. Especially in a depressed economy and scary uncertain or unsafe future.I

    It might make sense that the number of parents wanting to adopt, or willing to adopt, would drop in the uncertain climate we are in. I’d expect the industry to come up with something to ease the financial burden to adopt during this time, soon enough. Especially when we start hearing more about new orphans.

    I’ve seen and heard the adoption campaign rolling out strong everywhere I look.
    Had a brand new birth mom on American Idol. I could have gone without witnessing that brave and strong suprise. She was very pregnant during the first audition, said no worries, this will be gone = adoption the wonderful will take care of this. She was in Hollywood for the next round 3 weeks after birth. She sang extremely well, but got sent home eventually. I felt so bad for her, I felt so sad and mad. You could tell people had been saying all the “right” things to her to encourage adoption, and her new fabulous life she will be able to have, less baby. Gee, what a great plan for her. American Idol Birthmom.

    I tried, just to try, but I have no idea how a person could watch that and listen to what everybody says, and didn’t say, and think it’s a grand idea to encourage and sell it to all that will fall for it. I thought the judges facial expressions said all that wasn’t said.

    Liked by 3 people

     
    • KPMominTexas

      April 4, 2020 at 7:43 pm

      Oh my goodness!!! I totally agree! And what will her child think when she/he has grown up? Her music career was more important than being a parent? Idk 😢

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • KPMominTexas

        April 4, 2020 at 8:41 pm

        Not that I want to say she is wrong in her choice. It’s just the “what if” in my heart speaking out. I hope she will have all her dreams come true-without guilt and shame.

        Liked by 1 person

         
    • TAO

      April 4, 2020 at 9:30 pm

      We haven’t watched American Idol for a few years, at least. Now I’m glad we don’t, I couldn’t have watched it, just hearing about it on FB posts rips me to the core.

      And yes, you’d expect more to consider it, but people must realize it’s driven by the pandemic and that doesn’t bode well for the future well-being if the mother goes through with it – I can’t see any anyways, nor for the child, especially with the huge bail-out – couldn’t any $’s be spared to keep families together?

      The whole giddiness tells the real underlying story.

      Liked by 3 people

       
    • TAO

      April 6, 2020 at 9:14 pm

      Thanks Robyn, much appreciation.

      Like

       

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