Adoptee’s speak of the trauma they’ve lived through and adoptive parents respond with I’m sorry you’ve had a bad experience, not all adoptee’s feel that way.
Adoptive parents speak of the trauma that happens even for newborn adoptions, adoptive parents respond with yes, yes, yes.
Adoptive parents need to do better, be better, step outside their safe places, hear the hard, the ugly and the good from a wide variety of adoptee voices, and not just those voices from a curated adoptive parent approved list. And truly, not in those spaces where you’ll get a pat on the back and told you’re doing a good job, when they have no idea if you’re really doing a good job, not saying you don’t need the pat on the back because we all do, just recognise it for what it is, something that makes you feel good but that you also need the real.
We all need to check our bias regularly, not just in adoption, but in every aspect of life where bias can play into how you see something. Listen to the experts of the lived experience and understand the difference in value in first person accounts over someone’s account of something they haven’t lived.