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Adoption Awareness Month – Pop Quiz

30 Nov

We all know that having an updated and robust Family Health History is invaluable, that the older we get, the more important it becomes. Long-time readers of this blog know that I was that adoptee who was too busy living my best life to focus on adoption and being an adoptee, until I wasn’t. Until the lack of any family health history changed my life, completely, a life I never could get back.

That’s why I still harp on Adoptive Parents to make sure they ask for updates every year at Thanksgiving, despite knowing most don’t bother, no matter how much I plead, it’s meh, child is healthy, or we can just pick up the phone, at least they can until that day when there isn’t anyone on the other end.

And, I’m not going to let Birth Parents off the hook, either. Talk to older family members, ask questions, write the answers down, forward the information on so your child benefits. Neither the birthmother nor the birthfather have an excuse to not do this for the child.

And to ALL Adoption Service Providers – you need to do a better job. You need to start requiring a detailed family health history, not just what the mother writes on whatever form you give her while she’s in your office. She (and the father) need to take the forms home and ask their elders to fill them out as it’s often the pattern of the same disease showing up generation after generation that matters. So ASP’s do you job or you’re a hypocrite on how much you care about the child.

Here’s a family health history form to fill out. Do it now.

Adoptive Parents please take the poll below, you’re anonymous and I think people need to see the reality. Thanks

 

 

 
12 Comments

Posted by on November 30, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

12 responses to “Adoption Awareness Month – Pop Quiz

  1. BOOKS: Sexual Assault, Loss

    December 1, 2019 at 8:13 am

    A first mother may give honest personal and family history to the adoption agency and yet not know if her statements were recorded with honesty by the social worker. Years later, a first mother may learn of false statements in her file. Too often, a searcher learns “there was a flood and the files were ruined” or “there was a fire and records destroyed.” The practice of withholding what is recorded in the files is fraudulent. A first mother has every right to have access to her complete file but she may be powerless, while the agency exercises its power to do as it pleases. (My son was surrendered to Catholic Charities.)

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • TAO

      December 2, 2019 at 6:18 pm

      Yeah, they sucked. There were no records for me, in my sealed file it said mother in excellent health, father in good health.

      Liked by 1 person

       
  2. beth62

    December 1, 2019 at 10:57 pm

    Since I’m an Adoptee, and I shouldn’t take that test, I’ll just comment, that since I searched for and found my families of birth, one of the reasons being to give my children my half of their family health history, I guess I got an A+ on the pop quiz anyway 😋 And run on sentences.

    And yes, good grief, of course, I think that it is vitally important to do that for your children.
    I see it as a parental responsibility, a duty.

    Liked by 2 people

     
  3. strugglingeverafter

    December 2, 2019 at 4:36 am

    I have a fairly comprehensive history as far as doctor office forms go. We were given a stack of papers containing nearly every social worker report and medical records from the few years my kids were in foster care. I combed through those papers, many of which had been filled out by their mother. There were several different medical history forms, so I created my own master list that I now refer to when filling out my kids’ medical forms. I feel blessed to have any of this information as many in our situation have nothing. We also keep in touch with a distant relative but now I am wondering if I should ask her for more info, if she has any. She’s getting old and isn’t doing well… I dread the day she won’t call or pick up the phone. It’s the mom’s side, and I feel like the holes would really be on the dad’s side. But maybe it would be worth it to ask for more info.

    Like

     
    • TAO

      December 2, 2019 at 6:16 pm

      Print out the form linked and ask her to fill out as much as she knows for each close relative, grandparents, aunts, uncles, tell her how much it will mean to your little one down the road, or your little one’s little ones. Thanks for commenting.

      Like

       
  4. J.D.

    December 2, 2019 at 1:36 pm

    Thank you so much for the form. I am going to pass it on to all that I feel could benefit from it. I do feel it should be updated periodically because as the years go by I think we all learn more about our family health history than we knew when we were in our late teens or early 20’s or even later. I know I did. Plus things change. My mother did not get breast cancer until her late 70’s. The same year two of her siblings got cancer. I know mum’s child & her family would want this information.

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • TAO

      December 2, 2019 at 2:24 pm

      I agree with all you said – welcome.

      Like

       
  5. Tiffany

    December 2, 2019 at 5:55 pm

    Such a good reminder! You are right that I rely far too much on being able to ask if I need to- I have texted when we are at the doctors before and usually get a reply, but I haven’t had to do that lately and wonder if the reply would be so quick now. I will be trying to get an update this month in advance of her yearly checkup coming up. Thank you, TAO!

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • TAO

      December 2, 2019 at 6:14 pm

      You’re very welcome Tiffany – fingers crossed they’ll sit down and write things out.

      Like

       
  6. Dannie

    December 3, 2019 at 6:27 pm

    limited health history, so some information but i feel it’s less than basic.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  7. Robyn C

    December 19, 2019 at 6:13 am

    My son’s birth mother’s mother is an international adoptee. She has no information about her birth parents. I try to keep up with her family at least. DS’s birth father has chosen no contact, and that’s not likely to change, so nothing on that side at all. I have access to DD’s birth mother and her father’s family, but her mother is not in her life, so nothing there. And DD’s birth father no longer responds to any communication. 😦

    We did genetic testing for both of our kids, so at least there’s that.

    Liked by 1 person

     

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