Another adoptive parents say the darnest things post

16 Oct

On a post on WSBS FB page talking about the TLC show Taken At Birth series is this comment:

Yes just finished. Was such a crazy story! Goes to show how much education and knowledge around adoption has improved in the last 70 years but still a horrific story.

Because, today, there is no bad in adoption? Adoption is always good? Adoption providers never cross the line. Mothers are never outright coerced; mothers never feel pressured or obliged to follow through and sign away their parental rights mere hours after giving birth? Adoption providers never show up at the hospital as soon as the required number of hours have passed to get the mother to sign, rather than, have her call them when she is ready?

Got it!

Oh, wait, I’m sure there was something in the news in the last week or so…

That’s right, it was an arrest of an adoption lawyer…

Paul D. Petersen charged adoptive families $35K in fraud scheme, investigators say

Utah couple say adoptions through accused human smuggler were ‘nothing but positive’

And that story, if proven to be true, will be just the latest addition to adoption history that is littered with sordid stories. Stories that seldom, if ever, really dig deep into the toll on the one adopted and, how they deal with that being their story throughout their life.

So, no, people in adoption don’t know better today. And as far as educated? Not so much in regards to ethics, even though people say that’s important, they can’t tell you what an ethical adoption includes. Nor are they educated when they can’t even recognise that their child will ever have a not-so-positive view of being adopted because you always use Positive Adoption Language and speak positively about adoption, that is, until they do. Only then will they start listening to a wider variety of adoptee voices, instead of, a narrowly defined curated list created by adoptive parents of those few adoptees who can be heard by very insecure parents.

Please stop pretending today’s adoption is always highly ethical and moral process; it isn’t, it never will be when one party has something the other party desperately wants and there are adoption providers willing to do whatever it takes to make the adoption happen.

I’ve been very grumpy this last week by seeing the blinders being worn by those in adoption, the above quote is just one of many such comments that I’ve read lately, not to mention the second link I posted. Meanwhile, the one most impacted in any of these stories (the adoptee) is ignored, again.

Older article re the Hicks Babies, this isn’t a new story if you’ve been active in adoption. Babies For Sale: The Secret Adoptions That Haunt One Georgia Town





Posted by on October 16, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents


Tags: , , , ,

5 responses to “Another adoptive parents say the darnest things post

  1. Michele Sharpe

    October 16, 2019 at 3:41 pm

    Reblogged this on Michele Sharpe.


  2. BOOKS: Sexual Assault, Loss

    October 17, 2019 at 4:21 am

    “Please stop pretending today’s adoption is always highly ethical and moral process; it isn’t, it never will be when one party has something the other party desperately wants and there are adoption providers willing to do whatever it takes to make the adoption happen.” Well said! Nowadays, there are 40 couples waiting to adopt a newborn for every expectant mother who might succumb to surrendering her baby to adoption.

    A couple may have achieved everything they have striven for; a great education, a beautiful home, a six-figure income. Now it is time to have a baby. But wait! A pregnancy does not happen to the couple. Surely, there is a “handmaiden” out there who will make their dream for a family come true. The next step: How to write the perfect “dear birthmother” letter, persuading her of the perfect life that will be provided for her infant.

    Liked by 3 people

    • sheryl

      October 17, 2019 at 10:44 am

      I received one of those perfectly written “dear birthmother” letters 30 years ago. Sadly, and much to my regret, it worked. I came across it a couple of years ago while going through some old stuff. It made me sick to my stomach to read it. I burned it.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. beth62

    October 25, 2019 at 1:50 pm

    I think the police may overlook places like these, dismiss reports of Adoption mills.
    One reason I think is many cops are men. And It’s not unusual for a house full of pregnant women to freak out many men, enough so that they are avoided whenever possible.

    If you claim it’s just a house full of voluntary surrogate mothers 👼 — everybody just believes it and it’s all good. No need to really check into anything, it’s surrogacy and Adoption, Human Services knows all about it – It’s fine, of course. It’s all great and wonderful. It’s healthy mothers and Adoption!!!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. desireejacob

    October 28, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    it makes me ill!

    Liked by 1 person


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