And if what I’m saying below doesn’t apply to you, your choices, your adoption, then it doesn’t apply to you and yours, no need for a #notall. And if you can’t tell from the title and opening statement; I’m right pissed off and deeply saddened and disappointed at the same time.
I’m often told adoption is so different today than my era. That adoptions today have open adoptions, openness makes such a difference and is better for the one adopted, that it’s the relationship that makes the difference. Expectant mothers choose to place, choose the family, choose the level of openness, they’re in control, relationships are form and nurtured.
At times it almost sounds like everyone operates from a wholly ethical and moral ground to find a family for the child that needs a family, both families perfectly attuned and aligned. That choices are focused on what’s best for all but especially the baby. ..
And then reality sets in…
Abortion bans have passed in 7 states this year. These states may be worth targeting when doing outreach in hopes of adopting a baby!
The quote above comes from a facebook page that’s called Adoption Advertising. Update: It appears they’ve removed the post from the page, one can only hope they learned to do better, be better.
Let’s get real, obviously for some, it’s not a we want what I described above, it’s specifically targeting vulnerable expectant mothers to get a baby, any baby will do, and maybe it’s even better if the expectant mother lives far away. Probably way easier to have an “open adoption” when you live to far to visit often enough for the child to form any real relationship with their family of birth. And I say that because if prospective adoptive parents lived in a neighboring state to any of those seven states, they may have already decided they could do an open adoption if the family by birth lived in the state next to them and allowed their profile to be shown to expectant mothers in that state.
Despite the anger I’ve tried not to display but failed in this post, I expect any comments to remain civil as I’m stressed enough as it is with the above even being suggested.
Added PS. Want to know why so many adoptees seem so angry? Things like this, attitudes like this.