It’s 2019 and this keeps happening, still.

17 May

Lynne Miller is perhaps one of the sweetest and most forgiving adoptee I’ve come across in a long, long time. She found out after her parents passed away that she was adopted and is a LDA (Late discovery adoptee). Since then, Lynne has been traveling the journey of discovery in a very sensitive manner to find out what her whole story is.

And then, yesterday, this happened, and do read the whole thread where Robin doubles down, repeatedly.


Posted by on May 17, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents


Tags: , , , , ,

10 responses to “It’s 2019 and this keeps happening, still.

  1. shadowtheadoptee

    May 17, 2019 at 2:30 pm

    Oh, dear. I will never understand why people think our biology should not be important to us! Why is it always about our adoptive parents! I suppose we should just assume we were hatched, and thrown out like the unwanted trash, they obviously think we are? In the recent push to get the bill in Texas passed, allowing adult adoptees access to their OBC, in a committee hearing, one of the house reps, actually, asked, “what about adoptive parents rights? I haven’t heard anything from adoptive parents on this.” That rep, for the record, is an adoptive parent. Really? What at 54, i need my mommy and daddy’s permission to this knowledge? Ugh! Well, i digress.
    “Please know your adoptive parents are your “real” parents”. What’s that got to do with the price of tea in China? What does the need for knowledge about our biology have to do with our “real” parents!

    Liked by 2 people

    • TAO

      May 17, 2019 at 2:36 pm

      Who knows Shadow, who knows. Lori (AP) did write a post addressing that Representative’s concern re rights, I can find it for you if you’re interested.

      Liked by 1 person

      • shadowtheadoptee

        May 17, 2019 at 3:16 pm

        Thanks, but i saw it, i think. I was listening to the hearing online, so heard the remarks first hand. Thre was a remark pointed at Cathy, who has been fighting for this for years, and the definition of insanity. I was hoping she would respond with a that works both ways. Anyway, i never realized so many of my Texas legislators were adoptive parents. Even my governor. Whey they keep blocking this, why …i feel sorry for their children! But, i digress. We came so close this year. Approx 25 bills from it getting a vote. Just a few weeks ago certain other adoptee advocates said the bill was dead, and gave up. Ha, it was the miracle bill and so close. Anyway back to your original post. It just infuriates me. Should I assume that person is an adoptive parent?
        If our “real” parents truly love us, want what is in our best interest, why would they not want us to know such important information like a family medical history, something as simple as our ancestors, ethnicity, etc? Who does that really hurt?

        Liked by 2 people

        • TAO

          May 17, 2019 at 3:17 pm

          It hurts no one at all. And those that fear it, need to face it head on just like adoptees do their entire lives.

          Liked by 4 people

      • L4R

        May 26, 2019 at 5:57 pm

        As more adoptees speak up, more of the general public begins to understandably the complexities of adoption.

        The negative woman went on the attack and conflated Lynne’s story with her own, which seemingly had nothing to do with adoption. She could only see her own story. I’m not particularly bothered by her statements because it’s clear they had no relevance to what had been said. It was just odd.


        • TAO

          May 26, 2019 at 6:12 pm

          L4R – so happy to hear from you 🙂


  2. Dannie

    May 17, 2019 at 4:31 pm

    I don’t know how to describe it in words precisely so if I fumble please forgive me, there is a universal fear still prevalent in society that one cannot have complete love towards parents if there is an “other”…..yes it’s more obvious in adoption when an adoptee is searching for roots, biology, answers, however, its a universal society ‘fear/taboo/” not sure the word i’m looking for. You can see it in animosity between parents and stepparents and how it affects children, you can see it in adoption with commens such as Robyn that then puts adoptees in the very awkward position of needing disclaimers and to profess loyalty and love to a set of parents, you see it between sets of grandparents with jealosy over which set is more important to kids and on and on and on. I know this is an adoption/adoptee and issues blog so i’ll keep it to the point….but society needs a chill pill and realize adoptees are different and want different things in life from occupation to different levels of knowing about their own personal history and society needs to support rather than admonish and celebrate all acts of ‘being’.
    have a great weekend everyone

    Liked by 3 people

    • TAO

      May 17, 2019 at 5:09 pm

      Cheers Dannie – I get it, I do, what I don’t get is why she took after Lynne, whose parents passed away without telling her she was adopted, and the post was simply about her non-id information. (run on sentence – ugh)

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dannie

        May 17, 2019 at 8:42 pm

        right, it was totally unwarranted.

        Liked by 1 person

    • beth62

      May 18, 2019 at 4:28 pm

      I get it too. I think it might take a lot of words to explain that comment! I can’t come up with one that says it all either. It does feel like expected Fealty to me, instead of true faith, trust and love. I think We know it’s mostly Fear, and I guess that can be warranted sometimes. Lynn did ask for interesting things found, lol, I imagine that was a trigger for the Queen Real Lord of it all, obviously!

      It makes me think about Ping 🙂
      And fishing birds with a torque on their neck attached to a string.
      And their differences in returning home to each of their boats.
      And Dr. Estes pages about torque and fealty, and the peace I found reading there and looking up the full definitions of those two words.

      She used that comment like a torque for fealty. For all of us.
      I can feel her words around my neck!
      That comment is no longer a trigger for me, as she suggests.
      It’s simply a sign of someone who has lost control of the once controlled.

      Looks to me like she tried to turn us all around, twist us up, pull us back, but she got yanked out of the boat into the water instead. Hey, maybe she learned that Swans will do that to ya, every time. 😏

      Liked by 1 person


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