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You need to respect the gravity of all that adoption is

12 Feb

You know what? This isn’t cute. This isn’t funny. 

“The reaction we get is laughter,” Couple adopts baby through Craigslist

Now I’m sure this is not the first baby who has a Craigslist story in their adoption story, the posting of ads has gone on for decades, it used to be the penny saver or other type of want ads by either agencies, lawyers, or the adopting parents.

So why am I upset and posting about it?

Read the link, watch the TV spot, then take a minute; maybe not even a minute to think about all the ways this child can be bullied and mocked when they go to school. The nicknames you could create literally flow off the tongue. And do you know why the child can be bullied, mocked, made fun of about it in school? The adopting parents went on the news to tell their child’s story to the world, before the child is old enough to even know their story, let alone have a say in who gets to know it. If the child gets bullied and whatnot about it, how will the parents react? If the child doesn’t want that story told they can’t take it back.

The older I get, the more stories like this that I see, the more thankful I am for how our adoptions were treated by mom and dad. Adoption and being adopted is pretty darn serious, it deserves deep consideration and reflection on how you talk about adoption and adopting. It shouldn’t be treated this way, that I do know.

Come on folks – do better, be better; we have to live with how you treated our adoption, our story, our entire life.

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8 Comments

Posted by on February 12, 2019 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

8 responses to “You need to respect the gravity of all that adoption is

  1. Heather

    February 13, 2019 at 4:15 am

    I get so angry when I hear adults sharing stories and information that isn’t theirs to share. If I say something I’m brushed off as “too sensitive” or “making a big deal out of nothing”. Where is the compassion?

    Liked by 3 people

     
  2. Jill Daviau

    February 13, 2019 at 5:30 pm

    How do you even tell your adoptee that you found them on Craigslist? It shouldn’t be legal.

    I see they went with a closed adoption. That shouldn’t be legal either. That poor child.

    Liked by 2 people

     
  3. Keturah

    February 13, 2019 at 8:13 pm

    UGH. Why did they feel the need to “showcase” the fact that they adopted through Craigslist. This feels like the parents want more attention for their “troubles” in adoption than the joy of being parents. Gross

    Like

     
    • TAO

      February 13, 2019 at 8:44 pm

      Welcome Keturah – exactly my feeling. I keep thinking of all the ways this child could be bullied surrounding the craigslist. Sigh

      Like

       
  4. juliemcgue

    February 14, 2019 at 10:13 pm

    A closed adoption seems incongruous with a Craig’s List lead. I find this troubling but not as astounding as the Three Identical Strangers documentary, or the sperm donor who fathered scores of offspring who have created a facebook page to connect.

    Like

     
    • TAO

      February 15, 2019 at 12:40 am

      It just all seems to horribly wrong everywhere you look.

      Like

       
  5. Stephanie

    February 18, 2019 at 12:40 am

    This is what gets me. They will not admit this is an act of ownership. They will not admit this is dehumanizing. I don’t just mean the adoptive parents doing this. I mean all of the people consuming it. This is the consumption of adoptee lives and the people who are supposed to protect adopted children are failing.

    They are failing with their blogs. Their readers are failing with their loyalties. They are failing with their books, with their gotcha day videos, with their articles, with the way they are cashing in on their children’s lives with businesses. These people are in charge of the well-being of children who come to them having lost everything and what do they do with that? They expose it to the world.

    When we talk about this out of our own adoptee circle, we are met with hostility and called negative.

    Too many do not care. They want to consume adoption.

    The more I listen to young APs talk smugly about how much adoption has changed, the more I see same shit, different costume.

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • beth62

      February 19, 2019 at 3:17 pm

      That’s how I see it too. A very gluttonous society it is.
      What gets me is they do not want to hear from recovering Adoptees that know good and well it can be very poisonous.

      An occasional glass of wine, or soda, can be beneficial – a big bottle a day is some serious poison. They feed that same poison to the kids, and insist they take it and like it, forever. Then turn around and say our truths are the real poison. Those truths might not taste so sweet, but they are very healthy and good for you.

      Like many addictions and guilty pleasures the damage and awful side effects can take a while to show up. So often it’s just too late to repair all the damage done. Many manage to live in a more healthy way, the only treatment available, but it seems to be a very long recovery for most.

      Most people seem to love Adoption smothered and covered in that sauce. Instead of proudly and publicly bragging about how fat they are, I hope many more can soon kick the habit, get that monkey off their backs, climb out of that bottle, hop on the wagon, stick to a healthy diet, just cut it out!!

      Liked by 1 person

       

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