Sisters separated

17 Jan

I’ve posted this story elsewhere of sisters who were separated and adopted into different homes; the response was typical, shallow best describes the reaction and that’s the problem I see within the adoption community when it comes to the adoptee. Whatever the back story is for the one adopted, even if egregious, people in the adoption world typically only offer how lucky they were to find each other.

The response lacks any push for full-on demanding this never happen again by the professionals in adoption, for accountability to be required and enforced.  The tepid response makes me sad, angry and weary. It also confirms, yet again, that no one gives a damn enough to get outraged anymore on what happens to the little ones beings entrusted to the professionals, whether it’s their specific placement and the troubling actions done, all the way to the lack of outrage for all the now adult adoptees without citizenship in the US.

Almost as if adoptees are mere objects to be acquired; not deserving of being treated the same as you’d expect you or your kin to be treated. It reinforces just how ‘other’ people see adoptees, I don’t know how to explain it any better, adoptees don’t matter as long as the adoptive parents got their child, it’s all good. Adoption is always good.

Now before you click on the link, understand the above is my anger, angst, over what happened to them, what’s happened to so many adoptees in so many ways throughout history. It’s shameful that nothing ever changes because as long as there’s a continual flow of people wanting to adopt without taking the time to understand the full reality, demanding change and refusing to take part, nothing will change.

I’m thankful the sisters in the story found each other, angry they didn’t get to grow up with each other, angry at the dishonesty and deliberate actions the agency chose to do and how that changed the course of their lives. Make sure to read it to the end so you understand all that was done. Unforgivable.

Seoul searching


Posted by on January 17, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents


Tags: , , , , , ,

3 responses to “Sisters separated

  1. Lara/Trace

    January 17, 2019 at 7:52 pm

    I wonder Tao how we are able to write a sentence after what we endured as adoptees. Anyone reunited has to process loss in a new way, and some fail. It’s a broken system, adoption. It’s been corrupt for too long.

    Liked by 1 person

    • TAO

      January 17, 2019 at 11:53 pm

      I find I’m growing weary of trying to frame posts to not be too scary for AP’s to read, but just angry enough to fire them up. I know some AP’s have really embraced and understood from the adoptee POV, not enough to move the needle on what it would take to make agencies accountable though.

      I have been heartened lately by Adoptions from the Heart really promoting adoptee posts on their FB page. I get they too have to pick what they share, but they’ve been really good about regularly posting so that’s made me hopeful.

      I wish I had a magic wand.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. beth62

    February 18, 2019 at 3:22 pm

    I wish you had a magic wand too.
    I wish I could form a reasonable sentence too 🙂 like this one:

    “Almost as if adoptees are mere objects to be acquired; not deserving of being treated the same as you’d expect you or your kin to be treated. It reinforces just how ‘other’ people see adoptees,”

    After so many years of seeing it, over and over and…
    I’ve come to solidly believe that it isn’t usually “almost and as if”. Even many kind and compassionate people’s words and actions prove to me that adoptees are objects to aquire. Unless it’s their own known kin of course. It’s what I have been taught as an Adoptee.

    But you/he/she/they got adopted right!? 😀

    If I had a nickel for every time I heard that
    after an Adoptee tells some hard parts of how they came to be separated from their family, Adopted, or what they went through to reunite, what truths they’ve found, endured, etc.
    my bucket would be full.

    Not a great comparison, but my neighbor told me about the storm and the damage done to her house, her things, their losses, their injuries, their scare, the trauma, fear and anxiety found to carry forward, how the insurance company didn’t care or cover squat, and now won’t renew her policy.
    What if I had responded with,

    Yeah, but you got your roof fixed right!? 😀 It’s all good!



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