So, a meme posted on an open FB page about an adopted child is “touched” by the loss of their primary attachment so they aren’t lucky, sparks these two comments by two different adoptive parents.
“So true. This is a real thing and can cause anguish for an adopted child. We just went through this with our daughter. We’ve always talked openly about her adoption, but for some reason the loss hit her hard last year. I really didn’t expect it since she’s been with us since birth…”
“totally true. I really wish more people would talk openly about how trying parenting is…years later. I am on year 17…and it is not something folks talk about enough. Dont get me wrong…we are all called to answer this need…but its not easy…and gets way rougher than it may seem in the first 5-10 years.”
Tell me again how much more adoptive parents know today than parents from my era? How carefully screened, educated and aware they are. Both responses show the sheer ignorance of how an adoptee processes being adopted throughout their life and the ramifications of losing your family .
We are not Blank Slates when we are adopted; nor are the two responses above anomalies by some/many adoptive parents today, sadly, they are all too common.
And the quotes around “touched” is due to my ick factor of that word being used in adoption in a way as to suggest it’s not something you need to really worry about and/or that it is beneficial. Touched in my era (or family?) was viewed differently, and specifically not in a way to assume it was benign or good.