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Strong Women

22 Sep

I watch women tell their stories and I’m in awe of their strength to tell them. To share their most private hard stories in hopes that if enough women stand up and demand change, that change will happen. A change that means men will no longer get away with treating women the way they’ve treated them throughout history.

And it is working, and not working, this week has proven that.

It has also proven once again that I don’t have the strength to share my  stories to the world, I just can’t, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get to that level of strength and courage. But I can say that I believe them, that I believe you, that it’s happened to me too. That I support you and thank you for being brave, braver than I am. That it’s women like you who are changing this world for the better, I applaud you.

That to people (both women and men) who think it isn’t a big deal being treated by a man as nothing more than a sexual object, or be subjected to a sexual assault isn’t harmful – you are wrong. And I hope one day that you recognise that even if you’ve just used words denying the harm done, that you were wrong.

To all those women who’ve stood up – you are amazing, brave, and I am humbled by your strength.

Dear friends, take some time to go on twitter and read the short honest reasons why women didn’t report, told by women telling their truth, showing just how strong they are. It truly is humbling to see women telling the world things need to change, and why. One day I hope I’m strong enough to be that brave. #WhyIDidntReport

 

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8 Comments

Posted by on September 22, 2018 in Adoption

 

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8 responses to “Strong Women

  1. Dee

    September 22, 2018 at 6:55 pm

    Possibly this is in response to dr Ford feeling something had to be done about what happens in my community stays in me community ( indirect kavanaugh quote). And yes she wasn’t strong enough until going through therapy, having a supporting spouse, well positioned professional in her career. Sure thank you for risking your life to out a criminal. But think about how all those things had to come together, and mainly ‘that amoral creep is close to the highest lifetime judgeship? I guess I’m forced to act’. The act of rape demoralizes people it’s not sex gone wrong it ruins lives. Just being a victim seems to be card blanc for morns to kick your ass. Bravery is living through it, heroism is reporting. God bless. It’s a crime that Riley north only killed one amoral judge. Not nice to bad men don’t care..

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  2. Dee

    September 22, 2018 at 6:56 pm

    Sorry morons not moms to kick your ass

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  3. Heather

    September 23, 2018 at 2:18 am

    Beautifully written.

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    • TAO

      September 23, 2018 at 2:53 am

      Thanks my friend.

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      • Heather

        September 23, 2018 at 8:44 am

        TAO, you consistently touch my heart.

        Please know that what you are doing by writing and sharing (no matter the topic) is helping many people.

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  4. beth62

    September 26, 2018 at 3:19 pm

    I don’t know what to say anymore. I’ve told my stories before, before Me Too, tried to anyway. Not sure if it did anybody any good or not. Unless it’s happened to you I guess it’s hard to get it. I didn’t tell my stories for pity, I didn’t want it, got it any way. Some will treat you differently when they find out you’ve been assaulted and left for dead. I guess they see you differently. Similar to when people find out you were removed from your first family. Some just see, damaged goods, not the same as me. Different and damaged. Hard to explain.

    A few years ago I found out a teen girl was walking to work after school, then home after work, alone. Both ways she had to walk down wooded paths and lonely roads. She said she wasn’t scared, except of dogs. I gave her rides for a while, you know, just happened to be going her way. I found others to do the same, and some kids to walk with her after school. I talked to her boss, asked if there was anything she could do to keep her from walking alone on the well traveled path through the woods at night. She wasn’t concerned, insisted I was overly concerned, and a bit silly. Said I’ve never heard of anyone getting attacked around here. Had to point out that if they had, chances are very good you’d never hear a thing about it.

    I never reported anything to the police. I never went to the hospital. I had friends who found and rescued me, stepped up to keep me until bones healed and stitches came out. They knew nurses and doctors who came and patched me back together, privately, for cash. One of the things in my life that I am most grateful for.

    Her mother was home the whole time, had a car. I talked to her mom, she had no problems with it. I remember getting upset and saying something like, Well, it’s too obvious neither of you have been assaulted, robbed, raped or left for dead. I hope it stays that way. She, of course, rolls her eyes at me.

    I suggest that getting up off the couch and helping to protect her daughter is far easier than helping her daughter recover from rape or some other awful thing, if she lives through it.
    Both of these adult women ignored me. I got so frustrated, so worried. So, I gave the young lady a real job, we found her a car and soon enough a “safe” place to stay on campus.

    I told my stories to young girls and women when I saw the need to scare the crap out of them. I’ve chewed quite a few out for doing dumb things, taking dumb risks when you don’t have to, told them the worst details of my stories to give them nightmares, make them think twice next time. It worked great for those that never said, Oh that won’t happen to me, happens to others that aren’t as smart as me…

    Once I found out the perverts with penises just loved hearing these stories, the more details the better, I quit talking. Same as they love watching all the perverted detective shows on broadcast free tv, every friggin day and night, day after day after day. At least one on every channel, one channel is nothing but sick stories, one after another. Embellished or made up stories of violent rape, child abuse, murder, torture. And it’s all for free and for everyone! I know what it’s like to have your story be twisted and used by others, for many reasons.

    If the men who assaulted me weren’t dead now, things would likely be much different for me, personally. I know myself well enough to know that I’d do what I could to make sure they experienced extreme misery, while as close to death as is possible, for as long as possible. I would not feel bad for any of them. I am satisfied they are dead. Never again will they harm another. I hope Hell exists for them. Hope it’s full of men just like them and they can never, ever escape it.. I hope Hell gets even worse.

    ((( TAO )))I don’t know what to do or say anymore, other than just to say, me too, and I believe you.

    If any are lying about it, because I know some do, how they could and why they do I don’t know. But if they do lie and tell their made up story, I hope they find a piece of that same Hell that I hope the men who raped me are experiencing forever.

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  5. beth62

    September 27, 2018 at 2:25 pm

    Sorry TAO, that was pretty ugly. I don’t think I can talk about any of it with out the rage included. So many triggers around lately. Watching the hearing now. I hope Dr Ford can speak on it well, and is treated with respect. Telepathically sending all of my good energy to her.

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  6. beth62

    October 3, 2018 at 2:01 pm

    Could you accept an apology? Would you want one? Expect one?
    A seemingly sincere snail mail fancy greeting card written apology?
    An apology with no requests of an answer or reconciliation. Just an acknowledgement and apology.

    I got one. I don’t think I ever thought to want or expect one.
    Not real sure what to do with it.
    Other than frame it and hang it on the shop wall.
    In case some of the guys might need to see how it’s done…

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