Still pondering the rhetoric and sayings commonly used in adoption that sparked a memory of a conversation a while ago. It started something like this: Adoption proponent asked adoptees on an adoption forum if they were proud to be adopted.
To me that was a bizarre question to ask.
I think adoptees can be: angry, thankful, sad, happy, even grateful to have been adopted, but proud to be adopted? it just seems like a term that doesn’t work with all that being adopted is. You can take pride in your accomplishments, be proud of what someone else did, be proud of what a group accomplished, etc., but proud of something you had no say in, did nothing for, lost your family for, and at the most basic is just a legal status awarded by the court.
That stand alone statement also asks the one adopted to ignore the complexity being adopted brings, it comes very close to asking you to say you are proud not to be part of your family of birth, to deny them as having any importance to you. It asks you to make an either/or judgement call and that’s just not fair.
I’m thankful that mom and dad were the ones who adopted me. I’m proud of them, who they were, what they did to make the world a better place, their legacy of helping they left behind, to be their daughter. I’m proud of being adopted by them and into my family, but no, I’m not proud to be adopted, that’s a bridge too far.
What say you (anyone): Can you just be proud to be adopted as an adoptee? Can an adoptee be proud to be adopted? Am I overthinking this?