On being known or remembered as a good person

17 Mar

Are you known as and will you be remembered as a good person?  That is the question that percolates to the top of my mind most often these days, it doesn’t matter whether I apply it to the adoption world, people in politics, or myself.  Perhaps I’m being cynical, but I’m extremely worried about the future and what it will look like.

To me, being known as a good person is one of the highest honors you can say about another, both while still alive and after they’ve passed.

I want to be remembered as a good person despite my mistakes along the way, I want to be remembered for trying to do the right thing.  For learning from my mistakes and for taking steps to do better, be better, despite how many times I may stumble on my way to getting there.

I’ll try to explain what being remembered as a good person means to me, or why I think it’s so important in today’s world.  It seems the world today is far more invested in the moment of who a person is, than over the long-haul of who a person became.  And yes, there will always be those who will live their entire lives always focused on being good people, always trying to put the other first before themselves, mom and dad come to mind as examples, but people like that are rare.  Most of us, it seems, fail at being on the moral right side of life at times before we learn the true value of doing it right, for the sake of being good.  Judging myself against mom and dad in how they led their life, makes me a failure.  Judging myself over my progress in being more aware of the nuances in everyday decisions and actions gives me hope that I’m getting there.  Hope that I too, will be remembered as a good person after I’m gone, and if I try hard enough every day, as a person while I’m still here.

And shouldn’t being known as, or remembered as a good person be the goal, instead of doing whatever you need to do to get what you want, whatever the cost, whoever you hurt, so you gain in the moment?

Life isn’t fair, it never will be.  All that matters is how you respond to what happens to you, what choices you make determines whether you end up on the right side, or the side where you do whatever you want to do to another to get what you want whatever the cost to the other person.

I hope everyone learns from their mistakes along the way, and learns to choose well in the future so this world is a kinder and gentler place to leave to the generation growing up right now.

I don’t know who Emerson Drive is and I’d never heard this song until today but it works.






Posted by on March 17, 2018 in Adoption


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6 responses to “On being known or remembered as a good person

  1. maryleesdream

    March 17, 2018 at 7:42 pm

    I never thought about that. I would not be considered a good person by most. My bio family detests me. My adoptive family is distant as well.

    I never go to church, and I don’t believe in god.

    I know my kids and husband love me. I don’t have close friends.

    I’ve never done anything very bad, nor very good. That I know of.


    • TAO

      March 17, 2018 at 8:09 pm

      Marylee – you don’t need to do big works or have people agree with your views, you just need to be kind, to try to do the right thing. I think you’re a good person, don’t be so hard on yourself. Hugs


  2. Judith Land

    March 18, 2018 at 6:12 pm

    Listen to the words to the country song “Humble and Kind” by Tim McGraw is a good place to learn how to be remembered as a good person.

    Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you
    When you get where you’re goin’
    Don’t forget to turn back around
    Help the next one in line
    Always stay humble and kind


    • TAO

      March 18, 2018 at 6:23 pm

      That’s beautiful


  3. beth62

    March 28, 2018 at 1:52 pm

    “Are you known as and will you be remembered as a good person?”

    For me, it depends on who you ask ☺ And that’s just fine by me, I’m quite satisfied with my range of goodness to badness that I could be judged on by others. I try to keep it balanced. I try to keep adding enough good so when it does get out of my balance – it leans toward the good end, hopefully. Cause you can never really know sometimes, things don’t always go as good as you plan, or they can go even better.

    I’ve known quite a few that were not known as any good at all to or for any. The only kindness seen in them was in their last will and testament. They will always be remembered by many for those thoughtful good and kind deeds done for others.

    I guess all I can say to that is, better late than never. And regardless of any gratitude or appreciation found for them from that, the disconnect, coldness, indifference or anger is still there, maybe even moreso.

    I’ve been thinking on known as and remembered as, good And bad, too TAO. As well as memorialized as or celebrated as… Doesn’t take so long for me to think on the simple good OR bad things, if there really are any. Are there really any? Anywhere? That’s been my rabbit hole question lately 🐇



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