I often use this blog as a way to vent, join my disjointed thoughts into something cohesive. Most of these will sit in my drafts and never be published. Yesterday I wrote one of those posts never intended to be published, today someone brought the discussion back to front of mind, and sure enough, what upset me yesterday, is still happening today, so I’m going to publish my thoughts from yesterday.
Advice to *some* adoptive parents, please stop with the me, me, what about me, regarding the title adoptive mom being used in news reports about the horrific tragedy that occurred in Florida.
Now is not the time.
Children lost their lives. Children lost their innocence. Children who will forever live with the history of that day and the impact it will have on them. Parents who would give anything to have their children back in their arms again.
Entire families lost a precious family member.
I was stunned to find out that within mere days of such a tragedy of the audacity of an adoptive mom to go on a public facebook page and whine because news reports referenced his mom as his adoptive mom. And other adoptive moms agreed. You are a mom who adopted your child which makes you are an adoptive mom, it’s a title you willingly chose. A title that is also factual. A title that may also be used in an article that doesn’t shine the best light on being adopted and you got your feelings hurt, when the reality is that it had nothing to do about you, or the title adoptive mom, it was, and is about a terrible tragedy that has happened.
Now is not the time for that.
Now is the time to grow up and prove you have what it takes to be an adoptive mom. Your children are adopted. Start a post to discuss ways to talk to them about the news story and that the alleged shooter was adopted. Ways to reassure your children that being adopted doesn’t make them bad. Ways to talk about how they may have comments made to them about it at school. Talk about what to do if that happens and ways children should respond to such comments. Talk about how often to check in with them to see if they are being bullied because they are adopted, and how to find out whether the bullying has increased since the shooting.
There are many things adoptive parents should be talking about post Florida. Whether or not the news reports referenced his mom as his adoptive mom is not one of them.