I left a comment on THE ETHICIST post What if I Don’t Want to See the Child I Gave Up for Adoption? I seldom respond in comment sections as I don’t have the luxury of time to walk away, return, re-read and see obvious errors (not that I ever see them all) – but I strongly disagreed with the response given and left the following comment in response.
“Adopted children are naturally curious about their biological parents. Occasionally, they even have a need to find things out about them in order to understand their medical situation, though that will be increasingly unnecessary as we get to know more about the human genome.”
What a curious term to use in regard to what an adopted person may feel. A term used everyday to muse about little things in your life Curious about what the weather will be today, how you did in an interview. Curious, though, does not even begin to untangle the feelings evoked when a person doesn’t have any ancestral knowledge, not even the basic knowledge of their closest ancestor of all, their mother, nor their story. Legally severing of that link by the mother does not quench the need to know where you came from, who your ancestors were, where they came from, what type of people they were, nor why you were chosen to be severed from your family. It’s not merely curiosity, it’s a yearning that runs far deeper than that, along with another common desire, to be connected to your own, to see yourself mirrored in others in your family, to be claimed.
As to your reference re the lack of family health history being fixed one day with more understanding of the human genome. We won’t get there in my lifetime, nor your lifetime either. We are at the point that there can be no promise of privacy given because DNA testing has changed that forever in adoption and donor conception.
Others in the community have felt the need to weigh in, a few below, and if there are more, if you’d be so kind as to leave them in a comment I’d appreciate it very much.
Lynn Grubb wrote this at No Apologies for Being Me: Response to the New York Times Column, “What If I Don’t Want to See the Child I Gave Up for Adoption?”
Sunny J Reed wrote this at Medium: In Response to Today’s NYTimes Ethicist Column
Rebecca Carroll wrote this thread on twitter and be sure to click-through and read the entire thoughtful thread:
Amanda Woolston at The Declassified Adoptee wrote this: “What if I Don’t Want to See the Child I Gave Up for Adoption?” & NY Times’ Troublesome Answer
Lorraine Dusky at First Mother Forum wrote this: What if I Don’t Want to See the Child I Gave Up for Adoption?