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Monthly Archives: January 2018

Connection and family trees

Yesterday I was musing on an article written about genealogy that rubbed me the wrong way, perhaps just my take, but it seemed like it was attempting to downplay or dismiss the value of genealogy and family trees.  It reminded me of the same way an adoptive parent comes off trying to downplay the importance of a family of birth to the one adopted.  Later, as I was tidying up around the house waiting for a service technician to arrive, it struck me, at it’s core, what I heard was the deflection of connection, the act of being connected to another person in a personnel and interconnected way, that bothered me and struck such a discordant note in me. Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on January 31, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Responses to the NYTimes Ethicist

I left a comment on THE ETHICIST post  What if I Don’t Want to See the Child I Gave Up for Adoption? I seldom respond in comment sections as I don’t have the luxury of time to walk away, return, re-read and see obvious errors (not that I ever see them all) – but I strongly disagreed with the response given and left the following comment in response. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2018 in Adoption

 

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It’s Time For Change!

By Shadow

I can, so, relate to this Twitter post and thread, make sure you read the comments.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 25, 2018 in Adoption

 

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What made you the expert on which adoptees can be heard?

If you know me well, the title tells you this is a post where I’m going to vent a little, blow off steam that’s been percolating for nigh onto a week.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Life can be complicated and overwhelming at times

Daily contradictions in a life filled with complicated realities.  Painful memories have been triggered by the news that push to intrude into my mind instead of staying firmly in the past.  Simple welcome memories that pop into my head that bring me joy in the middle of a mundane task in one moment, to  fear of what lies ahead, to sheer awe at what someone did, sometimes even for me.  Days when I’m caught unaware by a rush of nostalgia that washes over me sparked by a simple object or picture that caught my eye, quickly dampened by the collision of other memories and knowledge of that time intruding to remind me that life really wasn’t that simple, or good. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 15, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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The Book: Being Adopted – The Lifelong Search for Self

(a post from 2011 I’ve rewritten).  I have so much praise for this book, the way it explains the different phases an adoptee may go through, and the triggers that can happen along the way.  How the cognitive developmental stages work with understanding adoption, to different stressors, losses, the different phases of life. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 6, 2018 in Adoption

 

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More than a good read…

There is no one single story of adoption.  What there is, is a powerful collection of many stories from the ones adopted, each unique, each their own, that together weaves a portrait of what adoption is, and specifically, what it isn’t.  Each story powerful in not just what is written, but in what was left unsaid, listen to what isn’t said.

This story is one that I hope you will read, it touched me deeply. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 4, 2018 in Adoption

 

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