Thankful that Thanksgiving is done, now to just get through Christmas and New Years. And yes, that all sounds like I’m nothing more than a Grinch singing Bah-Humbug.
Perhaps I am, here’s why.
Holidays are the perfect time to take pictures of friends and families gathered together. Sharing the pictures is one of the reasons why you take them. So, picture after picture posted by family and friends showing them with their close and extended family have been crossing my newsfeed on FB ever since.
I both love it and hate it.
I love that they are happy, having good times that makes them laugh, hug, be together. And I’m constantly reminded at each picture I look at how much they fit. You can tell the ones related from the ones who married in at a glance. When you’ve lived without that comfort of being one of a matched group, it can be hard, I also seem drawn to look for identicalness.
I have one picture of my aunts and me, (or should me be I?) the picture that tells you I’m related to them, and they are related to me. I’m linked to them in a way I am to no one else. They were me but in 10 years, 20 years from now. Now ten years later, I mirror the picture of the aunt who is 10 years older, in another ten years, I’ll mirror the aunt in that picture who is 20 years older than me. I don’t know how to describe how comforting it is to know I look like someone and ten years later that has alikeness has stayed the course.
The downside is that sometimes two things can be true. That your family by birth, having never lived not being connected to their family, fails to see how little things can both sting you, and yet also be true at the same time in regards to you and them. This meme was posted by one of my aunts. It’s true. It’s also true that when you weren’t raised within your family of birth, you’ve missed out on that lifetime connection that creates the bond.
Remembering the things we did together as kids,
puts a smile on my face and happiness in my heart.
As we grow up, even if we don’t see each other often or speak often,
Those memories always keep us in touch.
Adoption always includes loss – whether you acknowledge it or not, it’s there.
Tell me how your holidays were…