I started this post looking for a quote on identity. A quote that would describe something so fundamental as needing to know your family of origin, the why’s, the who am I, the missing part of who we are. Let me know if the quote below resonates with you.
Some of us can’t wait till adulthood comes and they can search. Some may be adamant they’ll never search and never do. Some may push the feelings away because they aren’t ready, or out of feelings of loyalty to those who took them in, love them, or both. I agree with what Mr. Millroy states in his opening of his story. You can’t read his story by skimming it, you need to listen, pay attention, his words echo the words of wisdom so many adoptees want adoptive parents to realize, to apply to their parenting of the children they adopted. I read three distinct lessons woven into his story for adoptive parents to learn if they haven’t already.
“I imagine all adopted persons, those who have never tried to find their biological parents and those whose search for them came up empty, must wonder at times about the family that may be out there that they will never know.
I know that was the case with me.”
Adoptive Black Mom also guest posted on an adoptee blog. She lists seven lessons she’s learned on this journey. I hope parents are listening and willing to be as honest as she is. One lesson in particular I think parents often fail to recognise, also touches on the flip side of Mr Millroy’s point above and woven with joy into the main theme of his story, it’s the fourth bullet-point section of the post, quote below from her post is where the lessons start.
“As for how I’ve changed and the lessons I’ve learned as an adoptive parent, here are a few of the things that I think represent much of my personal growth on this journey.”
Read the post and let all the wisdom sink in.
What posts have spoken to you this very hard week?