I can’t tell you how many posts and articles I’ve read over the years talking about adopting because all children need families. That adoption has always been part of the plan, or has been laid on their hearts. That giving a home to a child in need is what they’ve always wanted to do since they were young, and that adopting now is the plan seeing as your quest to have one of your own didn’t work. (fair warning this isn’t warm and fuzzy)
Dear people who want to adopt a child because the need is great, that every child needs a family. Adopting a newborn doesn’t address the problem you describe that you want to be part of the solution to. There are literally dozens of other families, just like you, homestudy approved, waiting to be picked by an expectant mom, clamoring to adopt that newborn from a mother willing to surrender her parental rights to you. Unless that baby has severe special needs or risk of a mental illness, that is.
That child you adopt doesn’t need to grow up under that shadow of being rescued. You aren’t rescuing her, you aren’t necessarily even giving her a better life, just a different life.
Educate yourself and do some soul-searching if you think adopting a voluntarily placed infant is a rescue mission, helping a child in need, or that if you don’t, who will. The answer is that dozens of other couples will, it’s a market with more wanting than those giving, crass as that sounds. Remove the fantasy and accept the reality, you want to parent and that’s the route you’ve chosen. If you can’t stand up and say you’re adopting because you just want to be a parent and you can’t any other way, without all the other mumbo-jumbo so people think you’re a saint, don’t adopt, you won’t be doing that child any favors.