As you read this post, if it doesn’t apply to you, it doesn’t apply to you, no need to get yourself all worked up and create a response along the lines of #notall, just accept that I’m intelligent enough to know that you aren’t all clones of each other. If it does apply to you, please mull on the mixed message you are putting out in this world, to your child.
Dear Prospective and Adoptive Parents, and to a degree Foster Parents…
I hear you talking about your child’s parents, about other situations you know about, or, in response to other parents posts. You speak about how the child’s has half-siblings on her dad’s side, her mom’s side, or both sides. You actively make sure everyone knows it’s only half a genetic relationship the child shares with her sibling, you do this continually always insuring the half is included before sibling.
Your words sometimes make it sound like that half-genetic relationship isn’t worth bothering with, especially if the child has never met them, or the baby hasn’t been born yet.
You use the half-sibling relationship as a legitimate excuse to downgrade any reason why they may be important to the child. At the same time, you post memes about how family doesn’t need DNA to be a family. You speak glowingly about how family is based on love, and how, you don’t need genetic ties to be a real family.
Have you ever stopped and considered, that if being family doesn’t need genetic ties to just be a family, why you focus so much on the term half-sibling? That your focus, your insistence on pointing out the half-sibling relationship vs. a full-sibling relationship is contradictory to your words about family isn’t defined by DNA?
If family is not about being defined by DNA you wouldn’t bother with the half-sibling descriptor, you’d just call them siblings, because you aren’t threatened by that genetic relationship, because, in your heart, you fully believe family isn’t only defined by DNA, it can also be defined by just love.
You don’t need to reduce the status of the sibling relationship by half, if you believe love is all that is required to be a family. You can believe both adoptive and biologically connected families are real families that can stand on their own merits and the test of time, without needing to lower one to elevate the other.