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Monthly Archives: November 2016

A story of grace and scars…

I grew up in a home that was calm, soothing, voices didn’t get raised.  The closest version to the ideal 1950’s family with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence you could imagine.  Along the way growing up in the ideal family home, something changed. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 25, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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How easy it is to not see something…

Lately, I’ve haven’t found anything related to adoption to talk about, which is interesting as I find the topic fascinating, the history, laws, stories of then and of now.  I also see adoption and the adoption community as a microcosm of the larger community.  In that context I do have something to talk about… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 21, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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How I learned about race and race relations…

Many know I’ve been steeped in my past lately since mom passed, this blog became my sanctuary, my outlet.  I thank everyone who hung in there, and also gave me grace.  Now that life is returning to normal, I find myself thinking of both the good and not so good memories.  Trying to decide if sharing the hard parts will help parents today dealing with their own hard parts of raising their adopted children who struggle mightily.  On one hand, I think it could, on the hand, it would require opening up about the bad, the ugly.  I’m leaning to sharing, but I’m not there yet.  Today, I am going to share how inadvertently mom and dad taught us about race, race relations, different cultural practices, which will also tell you how old I am… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 12, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Can we talk?

As you read this post, if it doesn’t apply to you, it doesn’t apply to you, no need to get yourself all worked up and create a response along the lines of #notall, just accept that I’m intelligent enough to know that you aren’t all clones of each other.  If it does apply to you, please mull on the mixed message you are putting out in this world, to your child. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 10, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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What happens when the floor is yielded to adoptees…

Need something to smile about today?  Go to the link, Mimi and ABM have yielded the floor to the amazing voices of 4 adoptees, both transracial and same race…

Hear their words…hear their stories interwoven in their answers to the 4 questions posed…

Add Water and Stir podcast: Yield to Adoptee Voices

Go listen, it’s so worthwhile…perhaps the highlight of the month.

After you listen, leave a comment over there, and of course, feel free to talk here too…and don’t forget to share to your friends and family.

Go now…

#NAAM2016

Thanks Mimi and ABM…

 
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Posted by on November 9, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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There is no single story in adoption and it’s time we own it…

I’ve posted The Danger Of A Single Story by Chimanda Ngozi Adichie every year in November since I first posted it in 2010.  Listening to her talk never gets old, rather, it seems, I get something new from it every time.  Perhaps why it stays relevant is that it applies to so many different areas in life for different people.  Perhaps, because it’s filled with wisdom that always has value, adds value every time you hear it.

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Posted by on November 5, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Search and reunion video presentation from an agency?

I saw the tweet below and had several different thoughts about Bethany holding a live video event about search and reunion. I’m always suspicious when an adoption agency wants to teach adoptees about search and reunion.  Always.

Perhaps things are changing and I need to give more grace.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 2, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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From the archives: “The Chosen Child – An Adoption Study” 1960’s

The post below from 2011 is still read fairly often, today, I went back to see what I wrote.  It’s still relevant, the myth that our era parents were told not to tell us we were adopted, still persists.  It’s also relevant as there seems to be more and more parents choosing not to tell, and saying they aren’t, publicly, and I wonder if it comes from knowing so many people who use donor sperm and/or eggs aren’t telling.  My message to both groups is two-fold; DNA testing will bring forth the truth, and, not telling, can have the unintended consequence of creating an invisible wall between you and your child.  Just tell. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 1, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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