It seems bringing up the E word in adoption is wrong, silencing, makes some want to runaway as fast as possible. I’d even say it’s close to a swear word to some in adoption.
And, yes, I mean ethics. And that makes me incredibly sad, disheartened and downright disgusted that something so life-altering on every side as adoption is treated so cavalierly.
It’s sad that there are people who value getting what they want higher than doing it the right for all parties in adoption.
It’s disheartening that adoption is not seen as a deeply sacred exchange that comes with moral obligations that just aren’t optional.
It’s disgusting that there are some who can’t see why acting ethically is so vitally important when we’re talking about the adoption process. Why it matters so much to do everything within your power to act ethically, educate yourself, question everything that sounds off, hire people who hold the same high moral values you do about fairness, rights, ethical practices for every party to adoption; the adopting parent (or parents), the expecting parents (as in both mother and father), and for the child.
Ask any adoptee, doesn’t matter where they stand on the spectrum of feelings about adoption, whether they would be upset, disturbed, saddened, even angry if they found out their parents acted wrongly, dishonorably when they were adopted. That their other set of parents were treated improperly, or worse.
If your goals in adopting don’t include being able to look your child in the eye and tell them you did everything possible to make sure their adoption was clean, honorably done, fair, please do some deep soul-searching before you adopt, or decide to adopt. And that includes not asking your friends, families, blog and FB followers to pray that the mother who changed her mind and wants to parent – to realize you and your husband are the true parents of her child and to sign the papers, not to mention camping out at the hospital just in case. (Yes, a couple did just that, recently, completely shameless and reeked of entitlement, not ethics.)
What is important to you about adoption and the process? What scenario would cross your line in the sand? Discuss in the comments, dig deep…and stay civil, note your position in adoption.