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Lori and I chat from time to time…

31 Mar

One day I asked her a question…

Is Adoption Today Really Better than Before?

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12 Comments

Posted by on March 31, 2016 in Adoption, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , ,

12 responses to “Lori and I chat from time to time…

  1. Lori Lavender Luz

    March 31, 2016 at 8:52 pm

    I get so much from our chats.

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • TAO

      March 31, 2016 at 9:03 pm

      Always enjoy deep thinking… 🙂

      Like

       
  2. iwishiwasadopted

    April 1, 2016 at 11:28 am

    I commented on Lori’s post it’s still awaiting moderation.

    I am an adoptee from the closed era, and it was bad.

    I don’t think it’s any better now. There are terrible organizations out there like http://www.bravelove.org/. They exist to convince vulnerable women that they should give away their newborns, all so Gladney adoption agency can make money.

    Open adoption seems like a special kind of torture to me. I cannot imagine watching my mother leave me over and over again. My heart would break every time.
    Her actions would show me that she really did not want me, and that would be devastating.

    I also do not understand the mentality of many adoptive parents. How can you be willing to take a newborn from their mothers arms, and then turn around and claim to love that baby? If you truly loved them, you would want the very best for them, and want to do everything in your power to keep that child with their mother. Anything less is cruel. Help the mother, but don’t take her child.

    Adoption agencies still sell newborns. They have had to change their tactics, shame won’t work anymore. The easy money days are gone, they have to work to convince vulnerable women to give away their children, see http://www.bravelove.org/, and http://www.adoptionstar.com/adoptive-parents/?gclid=CI7r1tWQ7MsCFddahgoduA4Okw. It’s sheer madness how low these agencies will sink, just to keep their supply of infants from drying up.

    So, is adoption better now? Not infant adoption, which is rarely needed. Women in crisis pregnancy need the crisis removed, not the newborn.

    There are so many countries that are doing it better than we are. We need to end for profit adoption agencies. Take the money and coercion out of adoption. Let children keep their names, birth certificates and dignity. No one deserves to have their past erased, even if i’s not pretty.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  3. iwishiwasadopted

    April 1, 2016 at 6:54 pm

    I notice that the ones who see adoption as more positive are adoptive or prospective adoptive parents.

    Us adopted people, are not so sure.

    Like

     
  4. iwishiwasadopted

    April 3, 2016 at 7:30 pm

    Turns out Ms Lori has not approved my comments. They do not fit her guidelines, even after she edited and removed the links.

    The true feeling of adopted adults are very often edited out of comments and blocked from Facebook groups. If infant adoption is so great why is there no counter argument to my position?

    Like

     
    • TAO

      April 3, 2016 at 9:25 pm

      I wish…I struggle with comments on occasion, not because I want to silence them – because I want the people who need to hear the words, and, often, they won’t hear them unless they feel safe hearing them. They need to understand what others reading already get… Do you get what I’m saying? I wouldn’t assume you were silenced – I’d assume Lori wanted those who really need to dig deep – heard.

      Like

       
      • Pearl Newman

        April 4, 2016 at 8:56 pm

        do you mean you need to tone police adopted people in case they offend the delicate sensibilities of paps?

        Like

         
        • TAO

          April 4, 2016 at 10:11 pm

          Pearl – I don’t know you, and apparently you’ve decided to jump into an answer I gave to I wish…to what end?

          Like

           
  5. iwishiwasadopted

    April 4, 2016 at 11:18 am

    I have a blog It’s not very popular and I’ve never censored any comments. I don’t think I ever would unless they were overtly violent or dangerous.

    Why write a blog and put your business out there if you can’t handle the heat?

    If as you say some people got to see my response I guess that’s better than nothing.

    Like

     
  6. iwishiwasadopted

    April 4, 2016 at 11:27 am

    PS I admire your courage to print my comments.

    Like

     
  7. Lori Lavender Luz

    April 5, 2016 at 2:33 am

    iwish — mine is not a business. It’s simply my space and I write there to clarify my own thinking and to engage respectfully with others. Typically, those who visit also want to clarify their own thinking and engage respectfully with others.

    TAO was correct in her guess for my reasons for removing your comment. My guidelines say that I aim for discussions to shed more light than heat. It feels like with two of your comments, we were at cross purposes.

    By the way, one of your comments is (and has been) approved. It was clear and concise and did not feel as much like a weapon as the others. We all get to decide what gets through and what doesn’t in our own spaces.

    Like

     
  8. Lynn Assimacopoulos

    April 6, 2016 at 12:06 am

    My new book called “Separated Lives” is a true story about the adoption of a baby boy and years later a friend taking him on a fascinating but uncertain journey to search for his birth parents. It is available from Dorrance Publishing (in Pittsburgh, PA) http://www.DorranceBookstore.com, Barnes & Noble barnesandnoble.com and Amazon.com.
    Author: Lynn Assimacopoulos

    Like

     

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