I’ve been pretty random on the blog lately, life is throwing curve balls and I’m struggling to just keep up some semblance of a normal routine, to make sure I have the energy to get the important things done. Over the next while, I may also vent a bit more as a way to blow of steam…this post isn’t that, just me rambling…
The other day, an old friend of mom’s came to see her, she introduced herself to me and we chatted for a few minutes. While chatting, she wondered if she’d ever met me, I didn’t remember meeting her, but I knew who she was from stories told over the years. Anyways, after a bit, I told her she probably hadn’t met me after mom and dad brought me home.
Those words, ‘brought me home’, I’ve uttered more times than I can count without thinking, have stayed in my mind since. What keeps popping up is that I don’t remember using ‘after I was born’ in similar conversations, it’s always a version similar to ‘brought me home’. This morning, another adoptee used that phrase too. And, now, I’m wondering how many other adoptees use that phrase, consciously (or unconsciously) instead of saying ‘after I was born’.
If, other adoptees use something similar instead of when or after I was born, or before I was born, could that be linked to the discomfort with the ‘Gotcha’ day celebration thing, not just the obvious ick factor of using that specific term, an unconscious push-back of the erasure of anything before as not important enough to be part of the narrative.
The other thought, will it be different for some adoptees today growing up – or will it still, somehow, be centered around adoption, instead of just being born.