1. Probably every adoptee will have issues with the title. Whether they bristle, roll-their-eyes, sigh deeply, throw their coffee mug at the screen – it’s highly doubtful any adoptee would use this specific title because you can’t say ‘all adoptees’ want you to know, it doesn’t work that way. Yet, I think there are a few common truths however you feel about being adopted.
2. Other parties in adoption from birthmothers/fathers, adoptive parents, and especially, adoption services providers speaking for us, defining what our story is, feelings are, or must be, to meet their own specific agenda should not be done. I’ve never met an adoptee that likes to be used as a pawn, spoken for, told how they must feel.
3. Every adoptee has their own story, personality, belief system, family, life, feelings about being adopted, which is our common bond that brings us together. We all have our own personal views on adoption, being adopted, of course, there will be some over-lap, and guaranteed much disconnect between us about the subject – even as there are common underlying themes that connect to our being adopted.
4. If you’ve met one adoptee, you’ve met one adoptee – that’s it. Just because you know/met/are related to an adoptee – does not make you an expert on adoptees. Only an expert on whatever that adoptee decided to share with you about their feelings, at that particular point in their journey.
5. Anything that stereotypes adoptees, used to dismiss our personal life experiences, used to silence us. Typical dismissive statements may include: would you rather have been aborted, you should be grateful your birthmother chose life (aka see earlier statement, it means the same thing), grow up in an orphanage, biological families have the same issue(s), I know an adoptee who doesn’t feel that way.
I don’t care for list posts – but figured I give a try at shutting down the next person/agency who tried to lump us all into being identical clones…
What would you add, take away, amend?