Recently, it seems like every discussion ends up with someone being upset over other people being politically correct, negative, mean, when someone else disagrees. Then they call for more positive and less of the negative.
I think we can all do better at looking in our personal mirrors, and here’s why…
My mom is old, very old. She’s at the very end of her life. A while ago, when she was recovering in a facility after her latest challenge, on pain meds, she said something that lumped together everyone in a specific segment of the population. I know I inwardly cringed, but wasn’t going to say anything because at this point in her life, she gets a pass from me because I know what she really believes. I don’t even remember what she said, I only remember what she did after. Even on strong pain meds and still in excruciating pain – she looked in her own personal mirror and immediately said; I was wrong to say that. I didn’t think I was prejudiced, but I guess I am, and that’s not right. I shouldn’t be that way, I know better.
If mom can look into her own personal mirror, in pain, on pain meds, and see that whatever old stereotype it was that she’d said from depression era thinking, was wrong, untrue, and hurtful to others – everyone else can too. Mom can do it at a time in her life I just described, and, while her mind is loosing its sharpness a little bit more everyday.
Mom also wasn’t shy about disagreeing with someone else. I’ll never forget the day one of mom’s friend (also an adoptive mom) was sitting at the kitchen table telling us that she was cutting her son out of her will. She said she was doing it because he’d made contact with his family by birth and was spending time with them. Mom didn’t raise her voice, but she told her bluntly what she was doing wrong. She defended her friend’s son, tried every which way she could think of to get her friend to understand why her son needed to reconnect, how it didn’t have anything to do with her or her husband and their relationship with him. That what she was doing was wrong and that everyone would be irrevocably harmed, that one day she’d be sorry. I don’t think mom words made a difference to her friends attitude that day. I do know that mom stood up for what she believed was right.
Mom’s not perfect. Dad wasn’t perfect. I’m not perfect. Mom and dad taught all of us that no one is perfect, it’s what you do after you recognise you were wrong. I’m still learning. I still get embarrassed when I’m wrong. Am I as quick to recognise when I was wrong as mom is? Probably not. What I won’t do is take that embarrassment on causing someone else pain, turn it around and blame others for being too politically correct, and tell them they are being too sensitive, or negative. I will mull over their words and eventually consider if I was the one in the wrong, if yes, I will try to learn to do better, be better.