Simple truths

27 Nov

I believe it is a tragedy that I will never meet my mother or father and know our story.

I could not have asked for a better mom and dad who have/were always there for me.

The above two statements are my truths, neither statement detracts, devalues, or compensates for the other.  Each belief exists separate from the other inside me, to me, this is what being adopted is.


Posted by on November 27, 2015 in Adoption


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12 responses to “Simple truths

  1. Laksh

    November 27, 2015 at 7:18 pm

    So succinctly put!


  2. Heather

    November 27, 2015 at 7:37 pm

    Simple and beautiful.


  3. pj

    November 28, 2015 at 12:58 am

    Very powerful words…and we have very similar truths.


  4. beth62

    November 28, 2015 at 4:18 am

    Awfully simple to me, have to wonder why we’ve spent so much time and type over the years trying to explain it…


  5. gsmwc02

    November 29, 2015 at 12:30 am

    I hope that one day you are able to meet your mother and father and learn of your families story. I know it won’t erase your pain but hope it helps you. Best wishes.


    • TAO

      November 29, 2015 at 4:17 am

      My mother is dead Greg so there is no chance of that ever happening. Many of find a grave.


  6. anenomekym

    November 29, 2015 at 2:26 am

    Thank you, TAO, for expressing this so succinctly and lyrically. It’s like poetry to my mind and soul to hear something that feels so complicated and can feel more and more complicated with every gaslighting tactic thrown around, for it to be reduced to such logical simplicity.

    It’s not quite my truth, but I can understand/relate to yours. I think there was a time I may have felt as you do. Using your template (sort of), if I may, my truth would be:

    I believe it is a tragedy that I haven’t yet met (or may never meet) my mother and father and learn(ed) our story, our shared existence, with so much time passed and our lives so deviated from each other across oceans, cultures, and languages.

    It’s an additional tragedy, that despite some/many good qualities, my second set of parents have difficulty recognizing the magnitude of my connections to my mother, father, and our shared history, complicating major aspects of trust in our relationships.


    • TAO

      November 29, 2015 at 4:18 am

      Thank you.


  7. beth62

    November 30, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    I would never ask you to choose which side of that paradox is more important to You.

    I agree, that is what adoption is to me too.
    That is what I have struggled to keep in balance. So many want to put their thumb on one side of the scale or the other; it has been a long unnecessary war of many battles for me.

    It took me a long time to be secure enough to live without the scale. So many encouraged me, even insisted that I use it, and many still try.

    I’ve spent my life weighing my stuff and everyone elses along with it. No scale needed now, I know how much it all weighs.
    I carry it with me always.
    I don’t ask others to carry any of it for me. And I don’t carry other people’s beets for them any longer either 🙂 They are capable of carrying what they’ve been given themselves, just like I am.


    • TAO

      November 30, 2015 at 2:51 pm

      Thanks Beth…its not either / or – its both…


      • beth62

        November 30, 2015 at 10:31 pm

        It’s not red, or blue – it’s purple.


        • beth62

          December 1, 2015 at 3:18 pm

          Whew, I was very red for others yesterday, makes them happy when I am that red, I like it when they are happy, so mostly red I was…

          I can only be that red for so long tho, I begin to fade quickly.

          Felt so good to come home and dive in that pool of blue, and get back to my lovely peaceful purple self 🙂

          All I can think to ask anyone now is –
          Why you got such a problem with purple sucka??



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