I’m sorry…

20 Jun

I’ve looked around at people and wondered what could make a person hate another person, or group of people, solely because of the color of their skin.  It defies logical thought to judge a person, or group of people, as good, or bad, based on the color of their skin, and yet, the evidence clearly shows that people do this, some, apparently seem to think it’s completely rational and normal.  I have no answers or even ideas how to combat this pervasive hateful way of thinking.  I just know it is wrong, harmful, and despicable.

Hate and hatred is never the answer – and I’m sorry that there are white people who think and act this way to Black people, simply because of the color of their skin.

At the same time when horrible, horrific things happen, words fail me, I go silent, and that silence is just as wrong, so this time, I’m not going to delete my post, worrying I might say something wrong.

I’m horrified, and disgusted that a white man went into a church to kill Black people.  From the depths of my soul, I’m sorry that this happened, the tragedy, the pain, the loss so many will have to endure.

I wrote the above, and then, put it aside because I felt like it wasn’t enough, it was too short, to simplistic, too little.  I found many much better posts, tackling the subject from different starting points.  Two of those posts (religious theme) here and (conversation theme) here, yet, I was still shy about posting my thoughts, then this TED talk showed in my FB newsfeed and it pushed me to just do it.


Posted by on June 20, 2015 in Uncategorized


16 responses to “I’m sorry…

  1. FrankLligtvoet

    June 20, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    I liked your piece as always, but got stuck on ‘simply the color of their skin’. Behind that ‘simply’ hides a very complex history and hide disturbing thoughts and feelings. Shouldn’t we move away from that expression?


    • TAO

      June 20, 2015 at 3:56 pm

      Thanks Frank, of course there is so much more and all of it is part of racism. But isn’t it what people do though? One glance and they know they hate, distrust someone. I don’t know if they the ability to stop and delve any deeper…


  2. welderbeth

    June 20, 2015 at 4:07 pm

    I think so many of us feel horrified by the unjustice but paralyzed by inaction, because we don’t know what to do. Perhaps thinking and writing about things is a good first step. Then, we can all wrestle together. Press on.


    • TAO

      June 20, 2015 at 4:11 pm

      Thanks Beth…


  3. Elizabeth

    June 20, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    I’m glad that you decided to post. I think if more people were to have an open discussion about these things, we might get to the point where we see the person underneath the surface. I agree with Frank (comment above) that there are layers of history beneath that “simply,” but I agree more with the idea that we have to stop hiding behind that history and the labels that we’ve created for each other because of that history. Being Black doesn’t determine who you are, anymore than being white or any of the shades inbetween. The history should be taught, and we should remember that it happened, but we should be focusing on the future and not the past, and hopefully that future is a colorblind one.


    • TAO

      June 20, 2015 at 6:00 pm

      I think I understand what you mean by/the intent of colorblind – but – I don’t think it can work because not noticing, not acknowledging difference, to me, means there’s something wrong with it. A we don’t talk about that mindset. Different subject but one I’m better at talking about has the same problem – pretending there’s no difference between a biological and adopted family, denies real discussion, thought, understanding of the dynamics at play – which forces feelings to go unrecognised, and all that leads to is trouble. It all creates tensions, disconnects, it just doesn’t work in the real world. Hopefully all that makes sense…


  4. eagoodlife

    June 21, 2015 at 12:16 am

    I’m so glad you posted your thoughts. It is so important for good people to stand up and say what they believe. Being colour blind can never be the way forward because it ignores those parts of us which form our identity. Being colour blind is not the brave way forward., we have to face all our histories and accept to move forward. Babies and small children are not racist it is learned behaviour so we have to start with education.

    Liked by 1 person

    • TAO

      June 21, 2015 at 1:57 pm

      Education is good Von – but how on earth can we get people to recognise their biases. I know I have biases, everyone does, but when someone points one of my biases out – I take it to heart and mull over it until I can see it…


    • cb

      June 22, 2015 at 2:27 am

      “Being colour blind can never be the way forward because it ignores those parts of us which form our identity.”
      Exactly Von.

      I like what this writer had to say:



  5. AdoptiveBlackMom

    June 21, 2015 at 10:29 am

    Thanks for posting this. I can’t bring myself to write another post on the subject right now; I’ve written too many over the last few months. I’m exhausted. I will say that I echo your comments on colorblindness. I subscribe to the notion either because it’s a fallacy; it’s ok to see color just treat people right for goodness sake.


    • TAO

      June 21, 2015 at 1:59 pm

      Thanks ABM – I just don’t get why people can treat other people right…why this is all so illogical to me and I need things to be logical.


      • beth62

        July 3, 2015 at 3:04 pm

        Fear is not logical, and fear is at the heart of this hate.
        Haters hate because they are afraid.
        Haters hate hearing that!

        I met a special woman recently that replies to comments of hate from anyone living with the question:
        “What are you afraid of?”
        “It’s said to be wise to face your fears”
        “Are you brave enough to face your fears?”
        “You are?! Come with me I can help :)”


  6. valentinelogar

    June 23, 2015 at 10:28 am

    It is enough Tao. It took me days to write. I don’t believe we can be colorblind. I don’t believe we should be. There is a difference, we should see people for who they are in all their beauty and truth, what we shouldn’t do is treat them as less than ourselves for being different.


    • TAO

      June 23, 2015 at 1:16 pm

      Thank you, I appreciate you saying that – I fixed a typo in the word should…

      Liked by 1 person

  7. beth62

    June 25, 2015 at 5:33 am

    Please call peple out. Don’t stay silent, no matter what color skin they have. All of the comments made in same color conversations… if you wouldn’t say it in a color diverse group – never say it. Call people out, point out their comment, the phrase, the dig, the joke, it’s all too common. You know what im talkin about!
    Even good kind loving educated people of all colors say things everyday and don’t even really notice what they are saying until they might be near someone they know good and well would be offended by it.
    Haters hate. They hate color, class, religion, neighborhoods, clothes… haters can and do use anything they can find to hate. Speak up, no matter what color anyone is. They may think you agree with them, that most everyone agrees with them. They may not know they are wrong- tell them they are wrong before you walk away, don’t just walk away in silence.

    This one hit too close to home for me, sorry if I didn’t make any sense here. (((Hugs))) Going to watch Ted talk, thanks TAO



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