I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve said ‘I’m fine’ as an answer of how I am in regards to many different life situations. Pretty sure all of us have said it, repeatedly. I’ve said it about being adopted my entire life when asked, it’s the expected answer, the one they want to hear. It’s also self-preservation for me as I know they can’t possibly understand why it’s a extremely complicated question, and feelings are ever-changing. It’s also quite likely I’ve actually been just fine with being adopted when they’ve asked me, and times when I’m a roiling mess of emotions about being adopted.
I’m also a ‘make everyone else around me feel good’ personality.
I suspect that many adoptees have glibly answered adoption questions with the I’m fine for most of their life, whether they use I’m fine or another version. I know many must have because of all the adoptees that adoptive parents know, who have told them they are just fine with being adopted. As if it is a simple check the box answer that covers how you will feel your entire life, regardless of what life stage you are in, whatever your lived experiences have thrown at you – you checked the I’m fine box, it’s all good.
So, tell me, have you told people you’re fine being adopted? Were you? If not, was it because it was easier? Expected? Didn’t want the person to feel bad? Or?
Have you been told by an adoptee they were just fine with being adopted?
What else is up with you? Anything new?