29 Jan

This has no connection to adoption, except it’s about how I was raised – and Beth made me remember I had written this post…

When something broke, dad would fix it.  We would tell (beg) dad to get a new one instead of fixing it, he would grumble about things not being made to last, then he would tinker on it until he got it working again…he was the same way if something was out of style, you don’t replace something, if it still works just fine.

I’m becoming just like dad.

It started a few years ago when I pulled out my blender and the motor stopped working.  I was mad and thoughts started swirling in my head about how dad was right, they didn’t make things like they used to.  Thoughts about how this blender was one of the top brands, and this model was top of the line.  There was no reason why the motor should go.  Then I realized the blender was over three decades old…

I did it again about a year ago.

I started to realize that the handles on my pots and pans no longer protected me very well from the heat of the pan.  Again, I started grumbling about how my pots and pans weren’t supposed to do this, they were quality made – meant to last a lifetime.  Later, I realized that some of those pots I was grumbling about, were ones bought for me from a friend of the family who was doing the senior downsizing thing.  So, not only were some of my pots and pans three decades old like the blender that went kaput, most of them were several decades older than I am, and I’m old.  I mentioned to Mom that I was thinking of getting new ones, she looked at me with puzzlement and asked me if they still cooked fine, why would I get new.  I still have those pots and pans, they cook so well I can’t replace them and I have pot-holders to protect my hands when I need them.  Since I wrote this draft, mom has given me another of her cherished revere ware pots, a big one, the size you make soup in to feed a very large family.  I was almost giddy being given that pot…

Lately, I’ve also been thinking of getting new silverware, but only because I’m tired of it.  Yet, I can’t  make myself get rid of what I have now, and have had, for over half my life, good quality silverware made to last a life time.

I want new silverware, but I just can’t justify getting rid of something that still works just fine…





Posted by on January 29, 2015 in adoptive parents, Uncategorized


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12 responses to “Reflections…

  1. Paige Adams Strickland

    January 29, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    I love old stuff too. I have vintage mixing bowls and some baking pans I never want to part with. (Not me), but sometimes Adoptee’s feel discarded. I wonder it there’s a connection to wanting to hold on to things and fix them/ restore vs. tossing away and replacing for adopted people?


    • TAO

      January 29, 2015 at 4:57 pm

      Could be Paige – will have mull it over…


  2. eagoodlife

    January 29, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    Maybe it was just how we were brought up in different times. I too am astonished to discover how old some of my things are. I have a firm policy of getting rid of what I don’t use any more. I inherited all my parent’s stuff and sometimes it is hard to prune it out when I feel burdened by things I won’t use but have a sentimental connection to. As the years go by and my relationship to my long dead aparents changes I find it easier. Only yesterday I polished some silver which had belonged to my agrandparents and pruned out the cake forks I’ll never use – just a few among many! I love the feeling of passing things on to those who will use them.


    • TAO

      January 29, 2015 at 9:01 pm

      Von – passing things on to those who will use them – I’m all for. I have stuff I received that while I won’t use – I can’t get rid of because I don’t have anyone to pass them onto…what I can I have listed in my will…


  3. Raven

    January 30, 2015 at 7:21 am

    The mixing bowls in my kitchen all come from the 1930s, when my mother was born. And I have the same set of Revere Ware pots and pans that my mother cooked on when I came along in 1954. I also have some of the crockery from my great-great grandmother in Texas, but it’s only on display in my china cabinet – it’s never used. (On a side note, will I ever come to a point in my life that I can feel comfortable saying “my china cabinet” instead of “my grandmother’s china cabinet, lol?)


    • TAO

      January 30, 2015 at 3:15 pm

      Raven – Revere Ware – they really are the best. You can understand my giddiness getting this huge pot….and no it will always be your grandmothers cabinet – it’s the connection that makes it special.


  4. yan

    January 30, 2015 at 12:58 pm

    Maybe half of my kitchen stuff comes from either my Aparents or stuff my (a)grandparents stored in boxes when they downsized. Some of it is older than I am. Most of the rest of it comes from thrift stores. Despite the photographic proof of my 1980s need to match hairbows and socks to everything, I don’t really like matching things.

    I don’t know if it’s thrift or, as Paige said, a desire to take in the discarded. But I think I’m younger than you and I have the same grumbly tendencies.


    • TAO

      January 30, 2015 at 3:13 pm

      Well it’s either an adoptee thing or birds of a feather flock together. I do know I’m REALLY glad not everyone has the perfectly matched up-to-the minute home. Makes me feel less alone…


      • yan

        January 31, 2015 at 1:17 am

        Well, I’m not even a “real” adult. I rent. But no, you’re not alone. I like things with history, and that’s all coming so very much clearer to me now that I have a lot of my own.


        • TAO

          January 31, 2015 at 5:18 pm

          I think you are very “real” yan…and yes, it’s the history of the object. I love that and even with items I bought at thrift or antique stores – it’s the history that surrounds it is so compelling…


  5. Beth

    February 1, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    Yer so mid-century 🙂
    My daughter decorated her new house… I found out there is an actual term for the good long lasting and repairable “junk” we like so much! Mid-Century.
    I had to tease and ask, “Are you sure it’s not Eclectic Mid-Century Yard Sale?” or “Mid-Century Hand-me downs?”
    It’s very touching tho. She has her dad’s mom’s lamps from the 50’s, her greatgrandma’s end tables from the 30’s, her Nana’s cool clock from the 60’s, her Mama’s quilts and artwork… and a bunch of other stuff, plus stuff from her MIL and GMIL. She has several china cabinets LOL 1 from GGrandma, nana, mine, grandma and GMIL. You can get away with that if you are a chef apparently. Guess who is getting all the handmedown china and crystal I can’t part with yet, and another china cabinet, one day soon LOL
    It’s all so sentimental. TAO I hope you find someone who is able to appreciate the sentiment and importance of some of the things you will leave behind.
    I’ve been sort of shocked how my daughter has found the sentiment in things as she gets older.

    Like extra puppies and kittens, people tend to leave their stuff with me too. And I even have a “building/”store” with all the handmedowns of clothes, furniture, household items, hardware given for those that could use them. Not to mention the pile out back of building materials. I can imagine I would have spent thousands on clothes and getting new kids or families set up in some kind of home if not for collecting stuff.

    At least someone cleaned out some of the stuff I can’t seem to get rid of knowing it can be fixed or used somewhere by someone, someday.
    Over the years the kids have fixed or upcycled some of the junk and sold it for money.
    My junk building has not only saved me money on my own stuff, it’s been a resource for many to get money.

    And now with all the new terms, like my daughter, I can refer to myself as a kind person who “recycles and upcycles” instead of the “crazy junk hoarding lady” 🙂

    I love my junk. I’ve built several entire homes from my junk pile, in two different states LOL I can’t even remember the last piece of furniture or kitchen items I bought new from a store.
    I just “got” a brand new kitchen table… made out of 3 different ancient tables and many hours of elbow grease, everyone is jealous of my one of a kind brand new mid-century table, it should last many lifetimes. I’d be jealous too, haha.


    • TAO

      February 1, 2015 at 7:01 pm

      Beth – I like Mid-Century…

      Kind of wish I lived close to you – think we could have a lot of laughs…



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