To try to explain the factual errors in this article would be a futile waste of time. It is though, a fine example of why the public is so uninformed about adoption. So, ignoring the article completely, I read some of the comments, comments by people trying to explain everything that was wrong in the article, and, the over-used, redundant verbiage by one responding to an adoptee whose comment was fine, describing the challenges without denying the good as well. Yet, apparently the commenter was immediately on the defensive, and felt the need to use the standard dismissive question: would you rather have grown up in an orphanage…
Sofie Claudia Hamberg commented: It´s very hard to be adopted in some ways. Born in Barranquilla Colombia and adopted by my parents when i was 2. My parents and my family has always been amazing, they always told me the truth about my background and so on. BUT i have been missing my birth-mom all my life. I never knew her but she is a part of my heart and soul. Another complicated thing was that I grew up in a very “white” neighborhood, and lets just say that people been giving me a hard time,cuz I´m black. The pain that the racist comments caused me is nothing my parents ever understood, for that reason i been feeling very lonely sometimes. I´m aware that my life here is “better” now, always food on the table, grew up with dogs and horses, spent the weekends at our a ski-cabin, traveled and got a uni-degree. But never forget that there are people so poor that they can´t raise their kids and there are people rich enough to adopt, WELL the world is fucked up. (English is not my first language) Love ♥
Gayla Gavin responded with: Sofie Claudia Hamberg Do you think growing up in an orphanage would have been better???
Sofie Claudia Hamberg responded with: Gayla Gavin I never lived in an orphanage, and I don’t know how it is to live in one. I lived with a foster-family in Barranquilla. They wanted to keep me but the social service decided that I would be better off in Sweden. I just wish my birth-mom had a chance to keep me, that was what she wanted. But she HAD to give me away because she was born into poverty and never had a chance to educate herself and so on.
The lived experience of being adopted is not supposed to be talked about by adoptees. That is the crux of the message I hear every single time an adoptee speaks of the complexities of being adopted, and is then asked, a stupid question that has nothing to do what the adoptee was talking about. It does speak to the ignorance of the person making the comment that assumes all international adoptees lived in, or would have spent their life in an orphanage.
Nothing in Sofie’s comments told anything other than she has lived through the challenges, thought deeply about her story and the complexities involved on all sides for many different reasons. That message comes through – even speaking in her second language (actually third language seeing as she was two).
Reading comprehension by some though, is apparently at an all time low…