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Being abandoned…

07 Jan

Last Sunday, we watched 60 Minutes and one of the segments was called “Alive and Kicking”.  A beautiful segment filled with an array of amazing voices and emotional stories.  Please take the time to watch it if you didn’t, you won’t regret it.  There was one specific part of that segment I can’t get out of my mind…

Matthew Burke is one of the singers in the play, and his story starts off as having been abandoned as a baby and then found.  The state assigned him a number and one of his foster parents named him.  He has never found out who he was born to be, neither was he adopted, he grew up in foster homes.  Having that story of being abandoned still matters to him, you can see it in his face when he talks, even the song he chose.  His voice, a voice of an angel, his song, Georgia on my Mind.  Georgia is the name he gave to his mother and as Lesley Stahl notes: “When he sings the song “Georgia,” he told us he’s trying to give a name to what he lost.” Listening to his story and hearing him sing made tears roll down my face.  After they showed him singing Georgia, Lesley asked him if he had forgiven his mother, and he talked about that.  And then he goes on to talk about how there could have been many different reasons why he was abandoned and this is where he got me.  “…the only one thing that I hope is not the case is she said “I don’t want this child””.  Lesley said “this child” and Mr. Burke responded “me”.  To fully grasp the emotions in his voice, and on his face, you should watch it.

While we may all be unique in our feelings about not being raised by our parents of birth – whether adopted, or not.  I think his feelings on that point are pretty universal.  I can’t imagine any of us would want to find out that we weren’t wanted.  That is a pain like no other, and yet, without knowing your story you can’t ever stop wondering.  We all deserve to know our stories, have our fears put to rest, or made real.  Without knowledge it’s hard to imagine finding real peace whatever our story turned out to be.  Knowledge should be a right.

The entire segment is very good.  The part I quote what Mr. Burke said above – is in part two about 7:30.  There is also a transcript of both segments at the link below, but to you need to watch to feel the emotions in the stories.

Alive and Kicking

Secretly, I’m hoping his mother is still alive and watched the show…

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5 Comments

Posted by on January 7, 2015 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , , ,

5 responses to “Being abandoned…

  1. eagoodlife

    January 7, 2015 at 10:34 pm

    Reblogged this on The Life Of Von and commented:
    on being abandoned…….

    Like

     
  2. eagoodlife

    January 7, 2015 at 10:35 pm

    Thank you TAO.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  3. onewomanschoice

    January 13, 2015 at 7:58 pm

    Thanks for sharing Tao. I hadn’t heard about it and it sounds like a must watch. As a birth mother, I want to believe that most of us (hope all of us birth parents) wanted our kids. I know that I do my best to convey that to my son, by my words and actions as an active, open birth mom. It would tear me apart if he felt unwanted by me, while I understand the natural evolution of the adoption process may lead to that assumption, mixed with natural human emotions and mindful fears.

    As an adoptee, would you understand or forgive or accept or love (any one or all of those) if you knew your mother loved you very much and wanted to parent you but whose fears along with naysayers echoed louder in her ear “that she couldn’t do it” more than “she could?”

    Like

     
    • TAO

      January 13, 2015 at 8:20 pm

      Of course, I think that I have always been able to separate my feelings about adoption from feelings about my mother – if that makes any sense. It’s the fear of not being wanted that hurts.

      Do watch the segment – it’s amazing.

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • onewomanschoice

        March 5, 2015 at 12:03 am

        So Tao, I finally watched it. I am inspired. Thanks again so much for sharing.

        Like

         

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