When did this become acceptable?

04 Nov


I checked my email this morning and one of the emails had a link to a blog post.  If anyone wants to understand why some of us do not like how adoption is practiced today – this is a perfect example of why.

“Recruite” a New Birthmother and Earn $500!

Adoption today has become a business of finding babies for people who want to become parents.  I strongly believe, and will continue to say it over and over – adoption should be finding homes for children who actually need homes, and the adoption professionals job is to find the right home for that specific child.

This is not what adoption should be.

Adoption needs to change…this upsets me so very much…not to mention the other obvious problems that fade into the background compared to the thank you for recruiting gift, such as, “…we commend you for choosing life for your baby!”  Again, when was the last time anyone said that to a mother who chose parenting, commending her for not aborting her baby?  And calling an expectant mother a birthmother before she has even given birth, not to mention she hasn’t signed her rights away either.

And yes, I want to throw my coffee mug at the screen…

UPDATE: Apparently, they have decided today to discontinue this program… 


Posted by on November 4, 2014 in Adoption


Tags: , , , ,

11 responses to “When did this become acceptable?

  1. kellie3

    November 4, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    That is beyond disgusting. I’m right there with you, TAO.


  2. Tiffany

    November 4, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    I think I am going to be ill. For once, I am without words.


  3. Beth

    November 4, 2014 at 7:13 pm

    WTF is wrong with people.
    It’s a serious contagious obvious sickness born from greed.
    I’ll never look at the Dish and Directv $50 offers to recruit new CUSTOMERS in the same way ever again.


  4. Beth

    November 5, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    “UPDATE: Apparently, they have decided today to discontinue this program…”

    I think I missed that part
    Gee, I just can’t imagine why <total sarcasm Wonder if they discontinued their marketing person as well 🙂 I sure would.


    • TAO

      November 5, 2014 at 7:00 pm

      Apparently it’s against the licensing rules too…


  5. Beth

    November 6, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    Now that’s some regulation I can live with.


  6. anenomekym

    November 6, 2014 at 5:22 pm

    I’m glad they decided to stop this program. It should never have been started anyways. They began it, probably to test people’s reactions to it, see what boundaries they can push – that’s ‘innovation’.

    Thank you, TAO (and others) for shedding more light on these out-of-control practices.


  7. Valentine Logar

    November 9, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    There is a fundamental problem, it is the failure to show empathy, compassion and humanity. I don’t think we will be able to insert this back in. We can only change the rules.


    • TAO

      November 9, 2014 at 2:46 pm

      The rules against this existed in the licensing requirements in Utah – you can not pay someone for a referral. The problem is that this was mailed to mothers who had previously worked with that agency – so only because one mother was aghast at the mailer is why it was made public. Licensing would never have observed the practice. Very glad people spoke out – we need more speaking out.


  8. Wrking21

    November 12, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    Yes I can see how that would be totally fine {facepalm}. I hope someone lost their job today in that marketing department. It’s sick. You’re telling me not only did the one idiot who came up with this “great” idea, think yea that’s awesome but you know someone had to okay that. Honestly, well done Utah only you!


    • TAO

      November 13, 2014 at 1:39 pm

      It continues to baffle me on how anyone could even consider this a good idea. Refer and expectant mother and when she places – well give you a $500 thank-you gift. I *can* see that for *things* – not for helping someone else give their baby to someone else – you’d live knowing that you profited from her making a choice that will cause her life-long pain – regardless if it was the right choice for her – you profited from it…there’s a very old term that I think would apply.



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