If you are an adoptive parent, or want to adopt – please, please, stop telling adoptees they should be grateful they weren’t aborted, or the dance around the subject using words like she chose life. Either statement can be equally damaging to a person’s ego, self-image, self-esteem. It’s just plain mean-spirited to tell a child (or adult) they should be grateful they weren’t aborted, regardless of how you word it. It doesn’t even matter what the mother intended (or didn’t intend to do), and I’d note that unless you were that child’s mother you have no clue, it’s presumptuous to assume that abortion was even a consideration.
Now you may be thinking why am I talking about this yet again. Facebook…in response to an adoptee who was abandoned and is looking for his mother by birth. And yes, I keep hoping that if I talk about it enough – it will stop happening.
Poster 1: “I hope you are feeling blessed that the one that gave birth to you, chose to allow you to live and enjoy life, rather than aborting you.”
Poster 2: “Being told you are blessed to have not been aborted and to have been abandoned in an elevator is insensitive and stupid.”
Poster 3: “I am very disheartened to read (Poster 2’s) post.”
Me: I’m very “disheartened” that people who parent (or want to parent) adopted children, have the audacity to say that to an adopted person. It shows a lack of compassion to tell an adult adoptee that that they are blessed not to have been aborted. Who would say such a thing? In what way is that helpful instead of just plain hurtful?
Ugh…just makes me want to throw my coffee mug at the screen. Hope you found better things to read on the internet today…