A comment by an adult adoptee on this Huff Post article on CNN Michaela Pereira Opens Up About Her Adoption…
I watched the segment yesterday, and thought she did a great job describing her feelings about both sides of her. The pull to know where she came from – regardless of how wonderful her family is. No digs in either direction, just honest heartfelt feelings of an adult adoptee.
Here is where I run into not understanding (the comment): “There’s some of us that feel that our adoptions were blessings and gains rather than losses and that our identities were formed out of the love of our real parents, the people who raised us.”
Not only did Michaela not say anything negative about her family – in adoption, how can you a gain a new family, if you haven’t lost your family first?
Why can’t you have gained a new family, and, also lost your first family?
Why can’t you want to know your other family?
Why does it have to be either / or when you get your nature from one family, and your nurture from your other family? Isn’t that proof both made you who you are today? That both matter can be integral to who you are?
Why is it still seen as disloyal by some to want to know both sides?
Is an adoptee who doesn’t want to know a better type of adoptee to others? More worthy? Is that type of adoptee – the one most desired? And if it is, what does that really say about love? That love is limited? That you can only love conditionally?