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Monthly Archives: January 2014

Still don’t understand what Adoptee Rights is about?

By TAO

The short version: Not all Adult Adoptees born in the USA are allowed as adults to request, and receive, their Original Birth Certificate (OBC) that non-adopted have the right to receive.

Which Adoptees are denied the right:  If they were born in a state that still has sealed records laws on the books.

You think your child is exempt because you have an open adoption: No, they still are denied the right by the state of their birth to request, and receive, their Original Birth Certificate if that state that still has sealed records laws on the books covering the year your child was born.

You made sure you got a copy of your child’s Original Birth Certificate before it was sealed:  Thank you for doing that on behalf of your child.  Your child is still denied the same right as non-adopted to request, and receive, their Original Birth Certificate if the state they were born in is a sealed records state covering the year they were born. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 29, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Scholarships for Birthmothers…

By TAO

I have deep concerns on this concept, and have since I first read about it.  It would be one thing if all expectant mothers who went to a specific agency for help were entitled to apply for the scholarship, regardless if they chose adoption or parenting.  The concern I see is that the requirement to apply for the scholarship is that you had to have chosen, and placed, your baby for adoption. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2014 in Adoption, Ethics

 

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Opposite sides of the same coin…

By TAO

Growing up – I desperately wanted to know where and who I came from.  I’m not going to pretend that desire was in my thoughts constantly, because I was just a kid.  A kid that did all the normal everyday stuff – who had a mom and dad, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.  Yet in times of reflections, day dreaming, times when I could just be alone with my deepest thoughts – that yearning was there.  That need to know – combined with knowing that I could never know. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 24, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Running into adoption, yet again…

By TAO

The other day, I was chatting with one of the guys in my class, talking about our stories, and I explained one of the reasons I’m there is because of being adopted, the lack of family health history that I wasn’t allowed to know, because by law I couldn’t know my family of birth.

Well, it turns out he had a couple of cousins who were adopted…  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 22, 2014 in Adoption

 

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One reason conversations between Adoptive Parents and Adoptees fail…

By TAO

A discussion was/is happening on Creating A Family post that featured an adult adoptee comment on another post.  Confused?  Dawn received a comment by an adult adoptee from a closed adoption on whether open adoption was a good thing.  I think many adoptees have thought about it, I certainly did.  I joined the conversation and yet it took a while, and many comments later – for some to understand what I was saying.  Of course, that is one of the reasons I blog is to get my complicated, contradictory thoughts to make sense to others and that takes time, reflection, revision…  Anyway… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 20, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Every single day…

By TAO

My mother was asked by someone fairly close to her, if she still thought about me after all this time.  The title was the immediate answer.  Stop and think about what that means to a mother.  To me, it means that not only did she think about me, she would have wondered if I was okay, healthy, happy, sad, alive.  I can only begin to imagine the level of pain she lived with because without knowledge, I doubt that she would think only good thoughts, not have any worries about the life I was living, rather, they would include if I was living, what my new family was like, was I loved, was I okay.  I compare her words with the length of time I thought of my son every single day – before I had days, and then weeks go by – without thinking about my son.  That transition happened long before the first decade had passed, and having lived through that, I can’t imagine the pain that stretched decades, day in, day out, no relief, no forgetting.  It’s incomprehensible, and makes tears roll down my face just thinking about it. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 17, 2014 in Adoption

 

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Adoptees and donor conceived seem to have much in common…

By TAO

Insomnia struck again, so, I just watched the last two episodes of Generation Cryo.  I didn’t watch the series, just the last two episodes.  What I don’t know, is, if they realize that there could indeed be more than just the 15 who signed up on the donor sibling registry – and whether that was part of the discussion earlier in the series, because realistically, with the number of parents who tell vs don’t tell – the likelihood of more siblings is there, unless, the cryo bank knows those were the only families, and, know they were the only source. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 11, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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It’s Just Simple Common Sense

By Shadow

Here I am, the less vocal of this blog, once again feeling the need to speak up. TAO’s last post about a two letter short cut to typing birth mother, left me so stunned that such a post even had the need to be written in today’s world of politically correct, positive, adoption language, that even had I wanted, I couldn’t stop myself from commenting. Oh for Christ sake, seriously, people don’t get why those two, particular, letters are offensive? Well, here is an explanation. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 7, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Venting: The difference between two letters or four letters…

By TAO

I never thought I would be doing a post on this, and definitely wasn’t going to start the new year with this post – but the trend seems to be getting worse, and someone needs to say something…

Q: How much longer does it take to type four letters instead of two letters?  Go ahead, try it.  What did you find?  Was it excruciatingly harder to type four letters instead of two?  No?  In fact you probably couldn’t even define how much longer it took – could you… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 3, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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