Terms that trigger deep dark feelings of unworthiness…

By TAO

It’s funny how we all have our trigger words, words that punch us in the gut and make us feel bad.  With adoptive parents it seems for many that “real” is that trigger word, for first mothers there are many words that make them seem invisible, or worse, just a means to an end.  For some adopted, illegitimate bothers them, where bastard doesn’t and they wear it proudly.  Others don’t like either term.  Some like myself, prefer to use the term illegitimate because it is an accurate legal term that describes the fact that I was born to a mother who was unmarried.  To me it carries no stigma or unworthiness, just a definition.  I don’t like the term bastard, it brings up bad connotations about the person, it becomes personal.