I’ve lost all faith…

23 Sep


You know I try really hard to see the good in people.  I want to believe there are more good people in adoption, than bad.  I want to believe that folks want to do adoptions ethically and morally.

But the more I see – the more I lose faith.  There are too many who just want the baby they paid the adoption agency “fees” for.  People who believe they are entitled to someone else’s child.  Folks willing to fight the parent of the child.  Folks like that disgust me.

No child should be adopted who doesn’t need a home….the cost to the child is just too high.

But that is what adoption has become – finding a child for a family who wants one.  My belief that talking about adoption and why it needs to be done right could actually make a difference….that belief is gone

I’m angry right now.  You should be angry right now.  This is wrong.

Baby Veronica case: Supreme Court lifts ruling that keeps child with biological father


Posted by on September 23, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

18 responses to “I’ve lost all faith…

  1. Dannie

    September 23, 2013 at 9:42 pm

    Unfortunately this is a court case about an adoption gone wrong where it shouldn’t have happened and its dragged on and on. There are good people in adoption but the good doesn’t make the news or get people incensed so it doesn’t make for good headlines. The good happens when people vote for better laws or sign petitions for access to obc’s. When people stand up for protection against international fast adoptions that smell like trafficking or blog about it so people can be aware. The bad highlights what needs to change, the good is like an undercurrent that may not be seen but can make a world of difference. This is such a sad case. I just can’t imagine


  2. monk-monk

    September 23, 2013 at 10:02 pm

    I’ve had to detach. The news makes me want to barf. She has a dad. A dad who wants to raise her. No amount of $$ should buy a child away from a home she has. It’s sickening.


  3. momsomniac

    September 23, 2013 at 10:07 pm



  4. Brent Snavely

    September 24, 2013 at 12:07 am

    It’s too bad that the folks who wanted that Cherokee girl didn’t put their money toward assisting the child’s life with her biological family and her Nation — instead, they fed the institution of adoption…


  5. eagoodlife

    September 24, 2013 at 1:05 am

    Sadly so many feed ‘the institution of adoption’ and it feeds so many who have no moral values about adoption.


  6. Heather

    September 24, 2013 at 4:53 am

    I’m angry too. Are we sure it is 2013 when a four year old girl is taken from the parent who wants to raise her because someone else wants her??

    Please don’t stop talking TAO. I know you are making a difference.


  7. Valentine Logar

    September 24, 2013 at 9:24 am

    This is a terrible case, but it is one and not all. There are good people. People who do the right thing on both sides. Agreed, we have to keep talking and we have to keep working to change laws. But still believe, there are good people.


  8. kellie3

    September 24, 2013 at 10:46 am

    I am angry, too. Even though I’ve thought for a while now things were headed here. However, I don’t think I could stop talking if I wanted to, at least not at this point in my life.
    Don’t stop talking, TAO. Yours is a beautiful and essential voice.


  9. dmdezigns

    September 24, 2013 at 11:53 am

    I’m angry too. I was hopeful that OK would try harder to protect their own child. I’m so disappointed. And I’m broken hearted for that little girl. I’ve been the young child being shuffled around. Watching this triggers those feelings I had during the 4 years I wasn’t with my mom.


  10. cb

    September 24, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    It seems to me that often the good people in adoption face an uphill battle and the not so good are rewarded.


  11. shadowtheadoptee

    September 24, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    I’ve typed, and retyped, I don’t know how many replys…I’m speechless, sick to my stomach, and heartbroken for what Veronica has had to go through, not to mention so angry I could cry.

    I’d ask how the people involved can live with themselves, but I already know…just so sickening.


  12. maybe

    September 24, 2013 at 3:51 pm

    From the article: “Cherokee County Sheriff’s Office undersheriff Jason Chennault said his office received the court order at 5 p.m. By 7:30 p.m., Veronica was with the Capobiancos.”

    Wow, they grabbed her and split.

    How are they going to explain that she now has a new family? I don’t believe they will make any attempt to maintain ties with the Browns, they bought her, they own her now. Completely disgusting.


  13. momsomniac

    September 24, 2013 at 4:05 pm

    I firmly believe that many kinds of unexamined privilege plays into these things, and that, along with adoption reform, it’s important to do everything we can to stop the thinking that a home is “better” if it’s wealthier, whiter, in the USA, a married couple, etc. Sometimes folks don’t even know they think these things.

    We all must call this out when we see it, just as (I hope) we would with blatant racism.


    • eagoodlife

      September 24, 2013 at 11:42 pm

      So agree and this decision by the Courts is racist.What cuts deeply is the removal of a child from her family and her heritage, no-on can replace that however well intentioned.Why don’t people get that or care?


  14. TAO

    September 24, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    Thanks everyone for the responses – I just couldn’t talk yesterday…


  15. mad momma moogacat

    September 24, 2013 at 10:47 pm

    I’ve lost all faith too. I’m so weary.


    • TAO

      September 24, 2013 at 10:55 pm

      I just keep thinking about the old saying – “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive”…could be a tag-line for adoption…


  16. bluejuliej

    September 25, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    A travesty of justice. That poor girl, her poor daddy. I don’t even want to contemplate the current heartbreak, let alone the heartbreak little Veronica will face when she, in all innocence, googles herself in a few years and finds her afamily took her from her from a daddy that loved her and would happily have raised her. *sigh*



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