After I found out that my mother had already passed away, and had found my relatives – I heard bits and pieces that my mother had been a very stern, and exacting mother, but the exact opposite as a grandmother. No one who was in her life seemed to make any correlation between loosing me, and how she parented her kept children, or why her true loving nature came out with her grandchildren.
Having grown up feeling the opposite side of the loss, compounded by the loss of my son, and how that had affected my future decisions – even though we never met, I will go to my grave believing I know why she parented her kept children as she did. Fear of losing them too, combined with her shame of losing me.
Another price paid by mothers, neither family, nor society, understands the psychological impact of the first loss to adoption, on how you act and react for the rest of your life. Yesterday, I read a post that makes my belief about why my mother acted the way she did all that much stronger.
Claud at “Musings of the Lame” has written her story with other mother’s stories and quotes woven in – of what it was like to be pregnant, give birth, and parent after losing their first to adoption. It’s a powerful piece over at “What To Expect“. I urge you to go and read and understand just a little bit better on what it can be like.
“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough”
― Walt Whitman
Oct 2014: You may speak freely, but please try to use words that everyone can hear about your individual story or view. If you don't, those who can actually benefit won't hear it, I want to see change in my lifetime. I may refuse to approve certain comments.
Elvis Presley ( 1960 ) Elvis Presley completes his two-year stint is discharged from the US Army. Bank Holiday to Save Banks 5th March ( 1933 ) : To help stop the run on US banks U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt announced a four-day "bank holiday" . All U.S. banks would close effective March 6 to help stop Americans from withdrawing their money […]