Cause and effect – a very long post…

By TAO

I listened to the first TED Talk below a couple of days ago, a talk that reminded me to check my biases and assumptions at the door and the need work together to find solutions.  It talks about biases, judgement, self-awareness, empathy, growth, questioning conventional wisdom, considering cause and effect, and whether they have it right or wrong…

 

Thoughts after the ruling Tuesday…

By TAO

Tuesday, I started and then trashed three posts about the SCOTUS ruling.  This morning one of those posts that was about a comment on Twitter, is still circling in my head.  The comment?

A good day for #Adoption

Because apparently that’s all that really matters – that Adoption wins.

I have followed this specific case and read the court transcripts, and there are so many disturbing facts that have nothing to do with the questions raised, or the decision made on Tuesday.  Instead the post below centers around points brought up during the verbal argument phase (whatever it is called), and in the dissent – father’s rights.

Adoption is a legal and social act of finding a home for a child who needs a home.  If you don’t agree that should be the reason for adoption, then you and I don’t agree at the starting point you won’t like the rest of the post.

 

My Monday morning grumble is…

By TAO

When people who are not adopted and have not taken the time to learn adoption history, or have even current understanding of the different components and complexities in adoption today, speak about adoptees making wild assumptions about why we may fit under the categories dreamed up by non-adopted, i.e. the well-adjusted adoptee, the angry adoptee, the mal-adjusted adoptee, the ambivalent adoptee, the happy adoptee, the…. (kind of makes you think of a line of dolls doesn’t it when you label each adoptee as a certain type)

 

Off topic: It’s never too late to say thank-you…

By TAO

I finally had an opportunity last week to say thank-you to the ER doctor who saved my life because he wasn’t satisfied with the first consult and requested a second consult, and that made a difference in my care.  It felt good to be able to thank him for doing what I think took a lot of guts, and thanking him was something I have wanted to do for years now, but the ‘how‘ was what always stopped me – you just can’t walk into the ER.  I tried writing a thank-you letter, but trying to explain who I was to a doctor working in the busiest ER in the area so that it was more than an anonymous thank-you ended up with far too many words, so I put it aside, hoping I would get the chance to say thank-you in person one day.

 

Divided life and other stuff…

By TAO

Kellie at All In The Family Adoption has a post up about the pending decision about Baby Veronica that highlights a comment that someone is listening to the adult adoptee voice.  I read the link she provided and then after that I did a quick google search and came to this post written by someone affiliated with the NCFA that spun my mind in a couple different directions, and although there are other areas of her post that I would comment on – the sentence that stuck out to me was:

“It would not be an easy decision for a child who has now lived a divided life.”

 

Links I think you will like…

By TAO

I thought I would provide a few links of posts that are worth reading.

From “Family Hope Love” Who are the fatherless in the world today? and What the Bible doesn’t say about adoption and orphan care.

From “Gracelings” this link takes you to all posts tagged ethics.  Read them all or just scroll down to read “Culture of Adoption”? because she will make you think about what that really means.

Finally – this blog is fast becoming one of my favorites.  So much passion, great pictures, and a variety of posts mostly on Rhino’s and Elephants and the need for preservation – some posts make you want to cry and others make you smile.  So worth reading.  Fight for Rhinos.

 

Edited because I forgot to add the link to Who are the fatherless in the world today?….sigh…

 

Father’s Day…

By TAO

This is a post I wrote three years ago, about a time before how medicine is practiced today, when people relied on their family doctor for just about everything.  I figured it was worth reposting today.  Now it’s time to head out and pull a few weeds and get some fresh air.

 

Adoptive Parents, Adult Adoptees, First Parents…

By TAO

Want a challenge?  When you click the More link shut your eyes and imagine the faces of adoptees who want the right to their original birth certificate. 

 

The “birthmother” is not moving on…

By TAO

I am acknowledging I have no direct experience in what I am saying below. My experience is different, but I do believe there are parallels between the two experiences.

 

Oh the spinning of old comments into new positive comments…

By TAO

The words might have changed but the reality didn’t…

From “you could have been aborted” to “she chose life“…

 

Kathryn Joyce has an opinion piece up at Huff Post…

The Problem With the Christian Adoption Movement

“Several weeks ago, in honor of “Birthmothers’ Day,” the pre-Mother’s Day celebration of women who relinquish children for adoption, the Washington Post published an op-ed by Fox News analyst Nina Easton. In it, Easton, an adoptive mother, called for a shift in language that would recast adoption not as abandonment, but as a heroic gift of life that a biological mother can make not only to her child, but also to would-be adoptive parents. In her opening paragraph, Easton lamented that adoption “carries such a social stigma that domestic placement of infants has plummeted — even as the number of parents desperate for a baby grows.” Changing the language around adoption, she suggested, to call “birthmothers” selfless and loving, could help encourage more women to relinquish.”

 

Jackson Katz talk at TEDxFiDiWomen

By TAO

From Ted.com “Jackson Katz: Violence against women—it’s a men’s issue”
“Domestic violence and sexual abuse are often called “women’s issues.” But in this bold, blunt talk, Jackson Katz points out that these are intrinsically men’s issues — and shows how these violent behaviors are tied to definitions of manhood. A clarion call for us all — women and men — to call out unacceptable behavior and be leaders of change.