Good links worth the time…

13 Apr


I know I have linked a lot lately, but if you haven’t read them already then you should now.

All They Will Call You Will Be Deportees by Maureen at “Light of Day Stories

Guest Post: Internationally adopted adult voices series: “Retrieving what is lost 40 years late” over at “Rileys in Uganda

More STUCK Conversation over at “I Will Pull This Blog Over!” with first post on STUCK here and the second here.

Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend…and would like to hear what you think or what you are up to.


Posted by on April 13, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Ethics


Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

5 responses to “Good links worth the time…

  1. Carlee

    April 14, 2013 at 7:20 pm

    No one seems to have mentioned the fact that there’s a horrific amount corruption/coercion even in the international adoption of older kids, special needs kids AND older kids with special needs:

    – Even in the wake of the 2010 Haitian earthquake many of the kids who were evacuated to the US *had* surviving families or extended families able and willing to care for them — many of those kids were nonetheless adopted by Americans.

    Kristin, I understand that your son may well have pointlessly spent 4+ yrs waiting in an orphanage — but letting SOME kids who have families get adopted by foreigners as collateral damage” in order to expedite international adoptions and avoid unnecessary 4+ yr waits is not something MY conscience could live with. How would YOU feel if a giant earthquake hit your town and some enterprising soul arranged for YOUR kids to be adopted by a Haitian family while you/your husband were unconscious in a hospital? Or because phone service was down for 8 weeks??

    If a giant earthquake hit MY state (killing or severely injuring both my husband and I) knocked out communication/electricity for weeks, I would absolutely want every effort to be made to reunite my kids with me/hubby/relative BEFORE letting them be adopted by someone in MY state, let alone in another state or another country. It is reprehensible that folks clearly did not believe Haitian kids were entitled to that kind of effort:

    (I (TAO) have removed parts and links because it makes me uncomfortable – not that I think they were right – just my comfort level)

    – Older “special focus” kids from China often have biofamilies and falsified paperwork that PAPs, Chinese officials and American officials merrily ignore:

    And do not even get me started on the behaviour of self-proclaimed godly, evangelical Christians who LOVE “Stuck” and really, truly believe they’re doing their part for the so-called orphan crisis by doing whatever it takes to rescue “orphans” –many of whom have biofamilies that love them, visit them, take them home for holidays or use the orphanage as a sort of boarding school (since there are literally no other options for poor parents of kids with special needs):


    This kind of bad behaviour on the part of well-intoned but utterly misguided PAPs is unlikely to change anytime soon. Honestly, I don’t think you CAN talk sense into a PAP that brags about convincing a Ukrainian granny into letting them adopt her grandkids. The whose orphanage she works at for the EXPRESS purpose of seeing them daily.

    And this doesn’t even touch on how $$ from wealthy Americans causes a demand for AYAP babies — many of whom are stolen from the biofamilies that love and desperately want them.

    Or how adult adoptees feel about their adoptions. I’m neither adopted not an AP but utterly horrified at how dismissive PAPs / APs are to adult adoptees like Von and Peter Dodds, for no reason other than their *actual* experiences aren’t sunshines and unicorns.

    Or the horrific number of adoptees mistreated by their APs that the justice system does NOTHING about — the most recent being little Max Shatto. Texas ruled his death accidental, despite the fact that he was covered in bruised, nobody knows exactly how his bowel artery was severed and forever mommy Laura Shatto admitted she knew he was prone to self-harm and left him (age 3) and his bio brother outside unsupervised outside for 10+ minutes!

    (I live in New York and leaving two toddlers outside unsupervised is straight up neglect — even if nothing bad happens to said kids).


  2. TAO

    April 14, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    Carly – I hope you understand why I took the comments and links to personal blogs out, I can’t deal with the self-imposed stress that probably isn’t warranted – but – unfortunately, I know myself well enough that it would worry me endlessly, and my health has to come first. I hope this has not offended you – because no offense was meant.


    • Carlee

      April 15, 2013 at 12:18 am

      I’m not offended at all. I tend to link to the original PAPs / APs blogs because they say things so horrible that no one would believe me.

      I’m truly appalled by “well intentioned” folks who merrily, knowingly set out to adopt kids with families who love them!!


      • TAO

        April 15, 2013 at 1:48 am

        I do agree with you and appreciate that you understand – thanks for that.


      • TAO

        April 15, 2013 at 1:48 am

        I do agree with you and appreciate that you understand – thanks for that.



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