Link to post on the Australian Apology and of course my thoughts…
Well written post by Deanna Shrodes at “Adoptee Restoration” today. The author is an adoptee from the BSE, like myself, like millions of other adoptees. Her voice is different from my voice. Even though our voices are different, many of the underlying themes are the same. Understand history – not the white-washed history fed to you by the adoption industry – the real history of Adoption that Australia has now publicly recognised and apologised for. That underneath many of the stories of our adoptions is a world of hurt, pain, anguish – regardless of which country we are from because it happened on different levels in most developed countries – not just Australia.
Deanna is also a pastor and familiar with crafting her words to get her point across while painting a vivid picture of why.
I hope every single person who reads this post and Deanna’s post – will also read the full apology from Australia here. It matters. This is what Australia has vowed to do.
18. We resolve, as a nation, to do all in our power to make sure these practices are never repeated. In facing future challenges, we will remember the lessons of family separation. Our focus will be on protecting the fundamental rights of children and on the importance of the child’s right to know and be cared for by his or her parents.
I understand that reading about it can stir deep emotions in both prospective and adoptive parents. Anger because adoption is beautiful for you, and you don’t want those feelings ruined, or to feel guilty. Those feelings are normal, but a deeper understanding of all the sides of adoption can only make you as an individual more deeply aware, connected, and empowered. Adoption is built on a foundation of loss, no matter how much you wish it was different, that is the reality, and why ensuring ethics and truthfulness are adhered to in adoption is so necessary.
While I am sure that you can see the blatant tactics used on our mothers was unjust and inhumane – can you also understand that some of the same tactics used on our mothers, have been massaged, revamped, and are in play today by some in adoption? They may look completely different, but the effect is still there – can you spot them? Would you recognise them? If not, you need to educate yourself through understanding historical practices, and then current practices and for that, the best starting point is through the eyes of the expectant parent in a crisis reading the “birthparents” pages on an agency website. Then compare the message given without disclaimers or facts of adoption once the papers are signed, next up is the counselling offered by an employee of the agency, the matching – well you get the point. How an adoption is done matters.
“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough”
― Walt Whitman
Oct 2014: You may speak freely, but please try to use words that everyone can hear about your individual story or view. If you don't, those who can actually benefit won't hear it, I want to see change in my lifetime. I may refuse to approve certain comments.
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