12 for 12…almost…

By TAO

As the year draws to a close, and 2013 is fast approaching I thought it would be a good time to highlight some of the posts that made me think over the years, or made me feel validated and understood.  I know I will miss some great ones I should be including, and hope others will add in posts that touched them as well.  Note there is no reason for the order, it’s just whatever comes into my mind next…

First up is a brand new post and worthy of mention – not just for the post – but to offer thanks to B who can face head-on that adoption is not the be all, end all, that many want it to be.  She has the grace to open her heart and mind to voices that say being adopted is hard at times – and not make their words all about her, and her adoption.  That every story is unique, just like we are all unique.  That at the end of the day adoption still needs to be done better, because adoption matters.  As you can tell I hold deep respect for B, and wish her the very best the New Year has to offer.  I am also secretly jealous of her ability to speak more than one language fluently.

1. Featuring: The work of Peter Dodds over at International Adoption Reader by B.

Second up is Moogacat.  She doesn’t blog that often, there is no doubt about  the fact that she does not play “stick my head in the sand and pretend that adoption is all sunshine and flowers”.  I’m hoping she posts more in the coming year because her honesty and deep love for her child shows through in her words …

2. What is Family? A post for National Adoption Awareness Month.

Third is American Family.  I have enjoyed her blog since I came on-line, and found this post after being shocked at how adult adoptees were treated by adoptive parents.  It provided me hope that more parents were opening their minds and that adoption really was different from the mindsets from my era.  Nothing has changed since she wrote this post about how adoptees are treated if they want adoptions to be ethical, and rare, but I still enjoy this blunt post.

3. On adoptee blogs

Fourth is from Priscilla Sharp a first mother from my era, who fights for adoptee rights who wrote this letter on Mother’s Day.

4. Mother’s Day

Fifth is from Delighted in the Lord.  With the wave of orphan ministries creating instant prospective parents, many who will rush head-first without looking because they have been called to adopt.  I am sure some adoptions will be ethical and parents fully aware, but I’m sad because others will learn too late, that the saying ‘fools rush in where angels fear to tread’ holds true in the current ‘go to’ countries for international adoption about ethics.  Others like the blogger in the next post made a different choice, the link is the most recent post about adoption, but you will have to go deeper into the blog, to find the real story of why they walked away and it’s worth looking for, trust me.  Ethics always matter.

5. Adoption Agency Accountability

Sixth is Paula from Heart, Mind and Seoul.  This post has stuck in my mind since I read it several years ago.  I wish she was still active, but her posts are always worth reading.  This post is one that every single adoptive or prospective adoptive parents should read and mull deeply on.

6. The Act of Giving Back: Should More Women Be Placing Their Children?

Seventh is a guest post on iAdoptee’s blog.  It created a stir on-line that seemed to go on for ages.  My take – people can’t read something without taking offense “as if” it was their own personal adoption story being written about.

7. Please read this

Eight is from All In The Family, the blog of a first grandmother.  Adoption affects the entire family, not just the mother.

8. Warning Labels

Ninth is from On Icarus’ Wings.  I enjoy her writing and wish she wrote more.

9. “October Baby” Gets it Wrong.

Tenth is from Letters to Ms. Feverfew a writer who always makes me think.  This post is in response to a search query.

10. “do people get over giving their babies up for adoption”

Eleventh is from Adopto-Snark and one of her most recent posts.

11. Draftee A’Mom Explains Why Corruption is Nothing to Feel Guilty About

I was hoping to list 12 for 12, but am running out of time and there are chores begging to be finished before the New Year, so I will close a bit differently than I planned and will include Adopto-Snark’s youtube video on searching that makes me laugh and cry at the same time it is so well done as #12….

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My hopes for 2013 is that there were be less division and more discussion.

Discussion where we honestly do our best to see the other side, hear the other side.  I can’t say I will ever get to the place where any adoption makes me happy, but there are adoptions that make me thankful there was another family to step in.  Because that is what adoption is supposed to be about – another family stepping in when tragedy happens.  Adoption was created as a societal response to a tragic event.