Good Grief…

11 Dec

I have come to expect the following statement to be a first line of defense in any contested adoption, or when the father is not “on-board” with an adoption plan. I really do expect it, and grit my teeth, and move on – but – when it is said about the current Utah saga about the married father – its ludicrous…

“That the prospective adoptive parents would have tried to work out an open adoption plan with the father – so he would agree to the adoption.”

I don’t understand how any father, let alone this particular married father, who wants to parent their child, and is contesting the adoption, would consider the following to be the ideal solution:

  • Give up any, and all rights, to his child, including, providing his family name.
  • Legally sever his child from himself, so the child had no ancestor in common with him.
  • Become a “Legal Stranger” to his child.
  • Has no legal recourse, or incredibly limited legal recourse, to keep an open adoption with his child – open.
  • Only see your child when you are allowed to, by the “real” parents.
  • Not have any say whatsoever – in making any parenting decisions for his child.
  • Not have any say in the adopting parents relocating to another state, or even, a different country.
  • Not being THE DAD

And anything I have left out.

How is that the “Ideal” solution when a father wants to parent their child?  Because the prospective adoptive parents become the parents?  How is that about the best interests of the child?

Shakes head…


Posted by on December 11, 2012 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child


Tags: , , ,

2 responses to “Good Grief…

  1. leenilee

    December 13, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    It’s infuriating. Why the fiddlesticks should he have to compromise anything, it’s his child!! His child has been kidnapped, plain and simple. If some nutcase kidnapped my baby from the hospital and then tried to convince me to sign away my rights because even though they kidnapped my baby they did provide a loving home I don’t think I could control my laughter. Who the hell do people think they are?!?! Grrrrt.


  2. shannon2818

    December 14, 2012 at 3:22 am




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