Around the blogosphere prompt

05 Nov


November 5th prompt…Around the blogosphere

Do you read blogs of other members of the “adoption triad”?

Yes, all you have to do is look at the blog page to see that.  Not all blogs I read have made it to the page yet, some I have just missed and will realize it sooner or later and add them.  While I don’t always agree with their point of view – they have at some point, or many points, identified the full reality of what adoption means.  Some have also identified how corruption enters the picture, and/or how family preservation should have a place at the table – when in the world of adoption it is generally seen solely as a deterrent to adoption.

If so, what do you learn from reading those blogs?

From those blogs I learn their perspective based on their own role in adoption, they challenge me to think outside of my role.  They challenge my views at times, they teach me many things, and keep reminding me that life is not black and white – and how many shades of grey there really are.  I enjoy reading those blogs and do my best to read them regularly.

When you disagree, what’s your preferred method of dealing with it (such as leaving a comment, writing a blog post about it, or ignoring it)?

Well for starters they don’t get put on my blog page…they unsettle me in a way that is hard to explain.  Please also understand this does not apply to you if you do include your religious views in posts – it is when it is taken to the extreme.

The ones I have the hardest time with – are the ones that are overtly filled with religious terms in every sentence, intertwined with adoption speak, the rescue theme, and bringing God to the orphans through adoption.  They quote scripture about caring for the orphans and totally miss the widows part of the text – almost like that was just a typo.  They are over-the-top flowery and speak often about yet another adoption of an orphan – while asking for prayers that the birth parents give consent – and then the comments are filled with written prayers and saintly comments for adopting and saving the orphans. (?)

Sometimes/often they are also the ones to mix “we are all adopted” as a way to explain how what a blessing it is to be adopted, and they get what it is like to “be adopted” to the adoptee.  I have no words to explain how different the two concepts of adoption really are, and if you believe for one minute it is remotely similar – then you need to check your shallowness meter.

Most of the time I don’t say anything other than clicking the X to close the page.  Once in a while I will weave it into a post (like now) – but I don’t like linking to the blog, or blogs, as that just creates a bigger divide.  I don’t have the gift of framing an argument in a way that would be heard, and without that ability, it’s pointless.  That’s not to say I haven’t tried – or that at times I haven’t been able to stop myself – just that I try to walk away now.

Final note

I do admit to being rather shy and it takes a while to even get up the guts to comment on blogs I agree with so…I would rather link to a blog post I agree with – or include them in my page of blogs.


Posted by on November 5, 2012 in Adoption, adoptive parents


Tags: , , , , ,

7 responses to “Around the blogosphere prompt

  1. andy

    November 5, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    ugh… the religious points drive me batty. I too tend to hit the X and move on. I find positing oppositional ideas on those types of posts don’t get me anywhere.


  2. shadowtheadoptee

    November 5, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    I’m passing on today’s prompt, as I don’t consider myself a blogger. I really don’t spend much time on the internet, most of my time being consumed with playing music, and just trying to keep up with myself is hard enough at times. I depend on TAO for direction, and do enjoy, when time permits, reading many of the blogs she has linked to. Check out the blog link. It’s worth it.


  3. Dannie

    November 5, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    And we love you too 🙂


  4. kellie3

    November 6, 2012 at 12:19 am

    I can really relate to understanding that the world is full of grey’s. It’s one of the biggest things adoption has taught me. I was once a very “black and white” person. Adoption has made me see the grey and to stop judging situations by my own life experiences. It’s a work in progress, but I’m trying.


    • TAO

      November 6, 2012 at 2:36 pm

      Kellie – I don’t think the work in progress ever really ends.


  5. Fran Whelan

    November 6, 2012 at 11:06 am

    I think this shows some of the big differences between UK and US adoptions. I was told that 76% of American citizens believe they will meet with God at the end of their lives. I doubt the figure is even 10% in the UK.


    • TAO

      November 6, 2012 at 2:38 pm

      Fran – I think that there is more of an evangelical and/or surge of fundamentalists in the US in the recent decades. Canada is much more like the UK than the US in this respect…



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