So I was reading an old blog post from 2008 about Adoption by someone whose sibling just adopted through LDS Services – the post is irrelevant. I stumbled on it searching for something else, but I read it, and then I started reading the comments. One commenter was stating the number of LDS single women who became pregnant in a year vs. the number who chose adoption. Then he/she listed the main reason they didn’t choose adoption.
The Grandmother of the baby was the main deterrent against adoption
The way it came across was that’s a bad thing – in a how dare they way…
Other commenters couldn’t figure out why the grandmothers would be against their grandchild being placed for adoption…
And yes, the post was from 2008, but I still see that same attitude today – one of the primary reasons why some agencies move expectant mothers to another state away from her support system.
It is not wrong for a grandmother to wish to keep her grandchild in her family. It really isn’t. Grandmothers are awesome at helping raise children, and being a support to the parents – the concept is not new – it goes back generation upon generation.
What’s sad is when an adoption agency, church, whoever convinces the mother who has a supportive family that would help successfully raise a child, that the child would be better off placed for adoption. That’s what sad.
Ps. I am not saying this to make any family member feel bad, or that they did wrong – it is the attitude I see in some who are very pro-adoption of “how dare they stop a child from being placed for adoption…and a deserving family getting to adopt that child“. To me that speaks of their desires – with little to no thought of the pain adoption brings to the other family.