Interesting talk – while not on adoption – is pertinent to interactions between [adoptive] parents and their children when talking about the child’s first family, feelings about them, searching, actions by the first parents, even how they feel about adoption. It boils down to how your body language can show dominance (power) in how you want your child to think, and feel, about anything related to their adoption. I realize it’s a fine line to walk, but please ask yourself if your body language in discussions allows your child to make up their own mind – or tells them what are acceptable feelings about the many subjects that make up their adoption. I see this in life where the parents will say one thing about the child’s first family, but their body language is saying the opposite to the child and other observers. I am not saying the parents would do this deliberately, rather it is their deepest feelings about the issue, be it insecurity or jealousy, even if they don’t want to feel that way – it can show through to the child. I think it is important to understand how powerful body language is, especially because adoption is complicated, and complicated makes for many different contradictory feelings – none of which are right or wrong – they just are.
Hope you enjoy the talk.
Quoted below from the Ted page
Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are
Body language affects how others see us, but it may also change how we see ourselves. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy shows how “power posing” — standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident — can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on our chances for success.
Amy Cuddy’s research on body language reveals that we can change other people’s perceptions — and even our own body chemistry — simply by changing body positions.