“Birthmothers” Day…

12 May

Yes, I know mothers originally chose to mark this day.  Their choice, their reasons, their day.

That’s not what this post is about…

For adoption agencies like Bethany to co-opt it and then do this I find it offensive and in very poor taste.  All week long I have seen the tweets, the video e-cards they want adoptive parents and adoptees to send to their “Birthmothers”.

Really, a generic video e-card on the day before Mothers Day?  That’s the best you can come up with?  The one you want adoptees to send to their “Birthmothers” which is not of the adoptee, but strangers reading scripts.  Imagine, a mother receiving a video e-card from her daughter – expecting to see her daughter on the video, and instead it is generic strangers telling her how wonderful adoption is.  I really have no words to describe how horrifying I find this practice.

Why couldn’t you have promoted that all Mothers deserve to be recognised on Mothers Day?  That we should always honor both Mothers?  That we should go out and get an honest to goodness real card.  You know the one you take the time to go to the store, then take the time to read many different cards, pick the one that fits what you want to say, then take the time to write a note or include a letter.  Which you include with the gift you either hand-deliver, or have delivered ON MOTHERS DAY that is the day for ALL MOTHERS.

Why would you do this?


Posted by on May 12, 2012 in Adoption


7 responses to ““Birthmothers” Day…

  1. Michelle

    May 12, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    I am a mother who lost my firstborn daughter to adoption. These videos sicken me…they do not comfort me. There are many assumptions, such as that we mothers “chose” adoption. That certainly was not the case for me (in the 80s). Suggesting that our children were meant to be with the adoptive parents is upsetting. IMO, my daughter was meant to be with me.

    I am a mother…I am NOT a birthmother. I have given birth to 3 wonderful kids and I am thankful to have been reunited with my oldest daughter. I don’t need a separate day from other mothers. I am a mother and tomorrow is my day, too. Thanks for honoring all mothers. 🙂


  2. The adopted ones

    May 12, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    Welcome Michelle – all mothers are mothers – you cannot unring the bell – whether they parent or not they are still a mother. (first-time comments are moderated after that they should go through automatically)

    Happy Mothers Day…


  3. Dannie

    May 12, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    Oh my word! You summed it up nicely! Kinda horrifying


    • The adopted ones

      May 12, 2012 at 8:36 pm

      Dannie – could you imagine getting that? Expecting it to be a video of your little one? I didn’t view it till today – I assumed wrongly that they had come up with a way to make your own recording…too much effort I guess…it is so wrong.


  4. eagoodlife

    May 12, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    Yuk! So tacky! I always sent my mother a proper card on Mothers’ Day, she was entitled to it is a proper mother.


  5. myst1998

    May 12, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    Thank you so much for your lovely post.

    I for one have never seen myself as anything BUT a mother – my daughter as only my daughter – have never fallen for the “birth” child prefix – WTF is a “birth” child anyway?!!! Its not like a child can come into this world any other way so why the need for a prefix that is simply stupid and illogical?

    Today I am celebrating my mother and my kids – all of them even if I don’t see the older one. Who knows what crosses her mind on days like today? All I know is what we share cannot be shared by anyone else and I will treasure and cherish it always.


  6. searchingsearcher

    May 13, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    Thanks for this post. I just wrote a post in response to their videos too:



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